"why are you gay"
i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him ๐๐๐ so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Jim Cramer responds to GameStop apes on Twitter
But you know what? I miss the good people whom i used to interact before these pathetic parodies of human minds ascended from the gates of hell. Well, now that i know they are going broke and just care about Gamestop and pump and dump schemes I will end their tyranny. NOW
WallStreetBets
Go back to playing Grim Yawn Kripp
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp! This is famous game designer, Eddy Pasterino. I am very glad to see you playing my new game Hearthstone . However i must ask you stop playing now as you are making it look boring as hell and as always Dongerino Al Pacino go back to playing Grim Yawn.
twitch chat
Kripp
I accidentally ran over my wifeโs pet rabbit with my car
So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming itโs head off.
She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments
I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left.
I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out.
He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream.
I didnโt know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didnโt want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump.
I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I donโt know what to do, Iโm writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur.
Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
Alinity poem
twitchquotes:
There is a cat in the vicinity. I summon Alinity. She yeets the cat into infinity. And then feeds the cat vodka martini. Takes some booty picture accidentally. Sells couple of her panty. Takes a twitch staff's virginity. Still no ban apparently.
twitch chat
I hate taking shits
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting