[Copypasta] why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Silence Liberal

โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€
ascii art
February 2021

Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta.

Moby Dick, The Grapes of Wrath, Tom Sawyer Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta. No wonder you're retarded.
December 2020

MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper THE CIRCLE OF LIFE IS OVER ResidentSleeper PLAGUE LORD ResidentSleeper MY WINGED CHILDREN FILL THE SKIES ResidentSleeper I AM THE ESSENCE OF MAGIC ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

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