[Copypasta] why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them. Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem. At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancรฉe, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day. While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made. Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that! Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
August 2021

Classic

Artosis is glad Kripp is a sellout like him

twitchquotes: ๏ผท๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ๏ผด ๏ผซ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผฐ๏ผŒ ๏ผฉ๏ผด๏ผ‡๏ผณ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผด๏ผฏ๏ผณ๏ผฉ๏ผณ๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ๏ผ‡๏ผญ ๏ผง๏ผฌ๏ผก๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผ‡๏ผฒ๏ผฅ ๏ผช๏ผฏ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผท๏ผก๏ผน ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด๏ผŽ ๏ผฃ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผต๏ผฅ ๏ผข๏ผฅ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผก ๏ผฃ๏ผก๏ผณ๏ผต๏ผก๏ผฌ ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผซ๏ผฅ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผ‡๏ผฌ๏ผฌ ๏ผง๏ผฒ๏ผฏ๏ผท ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผฏ ๏ผก ๏ผช๏ผฅ๏ผท ๏ผฎ๏ผฏ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผค ๏ผง๏ผก๏ผญ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ ๏ผช๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผซ๏ผฅ๏ผด ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Iโ€™ll be in Raniaโ€™s chat from now on

twitchquotes: If you need me, Iโ€™ll be in Raniaโ€™s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And Iโ€™ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said Iโ€™m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a salty balding vegan.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Simps

I want to smash

twitchquotes: I want to smash. No, not sex, not even in a physical way. I want to sit down and play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate while laughing and having a good time. I want to play 1v1โ€™s. I want to play on your team against lvl. 3 CPUโ€™s. You can be Kirby. I can play Jigglypuff. No items.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Not your naked body

Lapras

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2017

Pokemon

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