[Copypasta] I(21M) am convinced that my(20F) wife's pet rabbit thinks my wife is his mate, it is ruining our marriage

It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her. The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife. When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18. We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything. When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner. We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her. It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet. Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love. But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite. I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me. I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it. We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Copy Pasta to start a pleb revolution

twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

plebs vs subs

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding?

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )
December 2021
Jerma985

Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

forsenFeels

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡼⣱⢯⢾⡭⣒⣩⠖⢊⣁⡯⠭⠥⠬⠽⢈⠳⣳⡰⡝⣶⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣉⣄⠿⣻⣽⣷⣚⠭⠄⡿⠺⠭⠭⣭⡷⠙⢆⠹⢸⠈⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⡟⠉⠄⣴⡏⡉⡯⠃⢀⣿⠧⠶⣯⡱⡝⠝⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠘⠈⣆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠧⢤⡀⠿⢿⠁⠄⣠⠄⡐⣠⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⡴⠋ ⠄⠄⠄⡠⢼⡓⣄⠢⡑⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡸⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡜⠷⠆⢰⠘⡆⠑⠃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠰⡁⠄⢀⢸⠄⠇⠄⣺⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠠⠬⠭⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠴⠊⠱⣀⣀⡉⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣦⣌⠳⣋⡄⠄⣾⢋⡀⠤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⠂⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣆⣙⣠⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡶⢶⣶⣇⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⣋⡁⠚⠄⠨⢥⣿⠋⢲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠸⠿⡋⢠⣶⡦⣨⣙⣛⢋⠜⣁⣀⡀⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠊⢸⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⣐⢤⢻⣧⣀⣬⡾⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⠥⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠐⣸⡷⠿⠃⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠋⠄⡘⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⠟⠄⡆⠰⠄⢇⠄⡼⠄⢠⢂⡎⢠⠃⣀⠱⡀⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Solo is one of my favorite Star Wars movies

twitchquotes: Action-packed, fast-paced while exploring deeper themes of oppression, power, and values... what's not to love?! Solo is personally one of my favorite Star Wars movies. Plenty of throwbacks to the old films while offering some foreshadowing. [$0.25 deposited in your PayPal™. Remember to delete this part before posting]
twitch chat
September 2018

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing