[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
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Now I remember why I fell asl...

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Mill Druid. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I think my child might be british

I think my child might be british. Where did I go wrong in all of this??? What steps can I take to save him? I noticed it back in July when he seemed grumpy for our fourth of july picnic. Since then, he's been steadily getting a south L*ndon accent, drinking tea, and watching soccer. The other day I heard him call one of his friends "bruv" on the phone (which he now calls the TELLY for fucks sake!) WHAT DO I DO???
March 2021

British People

Pika girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠤⢄⣀⡏⠉⠁⠒⠢⢷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⢀⣠⡤⠖⠚⡏⠉⠉⠁⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠠⢄⠀⠎⠁⠀⠰⣀⠀⠀⠄⠈⠙⠆⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠻⣧⡀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠀⣀⡤⠤⠖⡒⠿⠥⣄⡀⠀⢠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⠲⢼⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠛⠁⢀⢴⡘⠰⡀⡦⡀⡍⠲⢄⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠁⡄⣠⣧⠎⠘⠁⠀⠣⠁⠱⡏⢆⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⢀⡇⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠬⣼⡀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠸⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⢸⢹⠄⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠉⢇⠀⣽⡄⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣏⢠⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⢪⢷⣸⠀⣹⣴⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢰⠉⢌⣄⠟⣤⠀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⡵⠋⣾⣻⢡⠃⡇⡆⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠘⠀⠀⠪⢴⢸⠙⠊⠉⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠯⠞⠁⠹⡹⠐⠀⠁⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⡰⠁⠙⢦⡀⠘⡄⠀⠑⠄⣀⢹⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡃⡇⡀⠀⠀⢀⠇ ⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢦⠀⠀⠀⠹⡘⡌⣢⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠴⠚⠓⡇⡏⢀⣠⠔⠊⠀ ⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠑⠒⠒⠒⢣⣩⣀⡞⠉⡽⢄⣀⣵⠛⢭⠑⡖⢲⣳⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠋⣻⠢⠀⠈⢇⠺⡘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠢⣄⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠝⣆⠀⠀⠸⡀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠠⠧⡤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠙⠀⠀⠀⢪⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠒⠠⠴⢮⣁⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⠉⢢⣄⡀⠀⢸⠄⡇⠀⠀⡠⠋⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠑⢤⠎⠁⠀⠀⠙⠫⣍⠁⠀⡽⠒⠋⠀⠀⠀⠑⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠒⣼⣀⠠⡪⠭⠩⢔⠄⠑⡎⢀⠀⣀⠤⡀⠀⠀⠈⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠉⡠⠐⠛⠂⠤⠀⠀⠙⢄⠅⠀⠀⡠⠇⠓⠒⠓⡙⠀⠀⠑⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡇⡀⠀⠀⠈⢢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⣠⠤⠬⠮⠶⠒⠒⠤⠤⠤⠴⠢⠬⠥⠀⠄⠍⠍⠉⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⠀⠈
March 2021

Weebs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Maple leaf

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣴⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢠⣷⣤⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⣦⣀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⢻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing