[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
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Bear hands up

โกฐโ ดโ ขโ ˆโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โข™โฃโกฐโขบ โ บโข€โกƒโ ‹โ ‚โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โข€โ „โ  โ คโ „โ คโ คโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ธโ ธโฃฟโ Ÿโขธ โกคโฃฟโฃฟโกงโก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โก€โ ฐโ ‹โข€โ „โ „โก€โ คโฃถโกพโ Ÿโ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโ „โ „โ „โก‡ โ ‘โ ‰โ ‰โ โ …โขฐโกฆโ ‰โก™โกฝโ „โ „โ œโ ›โ ดโ Šโ „โก€โขผโฃงโก€โ …โ „โ „โ „โกŒโ „โ „โ „โขด โขฐโ „โ „โ „โ ˜โกŒโขทโก„โขโ โ ˆโ „โ „โข€โกƒโฃ โฃพโฃ†โฃผโฃฟโฃงโก—โ „โ „โขฐโก…โ „โ „โ ˜โขฟ โ ธโก€โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โข„โ ™โกŽโก‡โกฆโ „โ „โ ˆโ นโขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโก‡โ „โข€โฃ‡โ ‚โ „โ „โฃŒโขธ โ „โกŸโ „โ „โ „โ ฐโ ผโขขโกณโฃ„โข€โก€โ ‚โ „โ „โ ฃโฃฟโฃฟโ „โ „โกฟโขฑโข โ žโ †โ „โ „โ „โ ฐโฃพ โ „โกƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ “โฃŸโขฐโ โ โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ ‘โ „โ „โขโ Šโ โ ‰โ โ „โ „โ โ ถโฃช โ  โขพโกˆโฃ„โกคโ „โ „โ „โ ˜โ ˜โ ‘โขกโก„โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โกฌโข—โกŽ โ „โ ฌโขงโฃ„โ –โฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ จโ ™โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ฐโกโ „ โ „โ „โ „โขˆโฃณโฃญโกƒโ †โ ‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ–„โ–„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃผโ โ „ โก€โขโฃ›โ ฟโ ฟโ ›โขปโฃฟโขถโฃฐโข€โกขโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ „โ „โ โก โฃŸโ †โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃปโฃงโฃ‡โ Šโข™โขฃโก„โ „โ „โ „โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ „โ „โข€โฃ™โ ›โ จโก„ โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ โฃพโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฒโ „โฃโก€โ „โ „โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ „โ „โ โ ‘โ พโขจโ † โ คโ –โ ’โ šโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฃโ ถโ ฆโ ทโ โฃ”โกฏโ „โ „โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ „โ โ –โ ‹โ „โขชโ „
ascii art
March 2021

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Fruit towers

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘
twitch chat
August 2018

I sexually Identify as a Genji

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Genji. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dashing through the battlefield swift striking the disgusting enemy team. People say being Genji is Impossible but I donโ€™t care, I can solo carry. Iโ€™m having a plastic surgeon install cyborg parts,a shuriken dispenser and a dragonblade on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Genji Shimada Senpai" and respect my right to ignore objectives and play team deathmatch. Ryลซjin no ken wo kurae!
twitch chat
January 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

Hey TSM, thanks for paying for my free entertainment

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ Hey T S M, thanks for paying for my free entertainment ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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