[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

Logan Paul apology script

Dear Internet, Where do I begin... Let's start with this -I'm sorry. This is a first for me. I've never faced criticism like this before, because I've never made a mistake like this before. I'm surrounded by good people and believe I make good decisions, but I'm still a human being. I can be wrong. I didn't do it for views. I get views. I did it because I thought I could make a positive ripple on the internet, not cause a monsoon of negativity. That's never the intention. I intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention and while I thought "if this video saves just ONE life, it'll be worth it," I was misguided by shock and awe, as portrayed in the video. I still am. I do this sh*t every day. I've made a 15 minute TV show EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 460+ days. One may understand that it's easy to get caught up in the moment without fully weighing the possible ramifications. I'm often reminded of how big of a reach I truly have & with great power comes great responsibility... for the first time in my life I'm regretful to say I handled that power incorrectly. It won't happen again. I love everyone. I believe in people. I'm out here. Peace #Logang4Life
March 2021

Hey Reynad, this is a mean spirited comment

twitchquotes: @Reynad27, hey reynad this is a mean spirited comment with the sole purpose to offend you. Please destroy me with a hilarious comeback at your earliest convenience.
twitch chat
February 2016
Reynad

I hate it when people type "xD"

twitchquotes: I hate it when people type "xD" :\
twitch chat
September 2019

forsenLicense

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣩⣤⣤⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣉⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢡⡿⠛⠉⠩⣭⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣶⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣼⠄⢨⣭⠄⠄⢹⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⡟⠉⣴⡇⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⢀⡇⢠⠄⠄⡄⠄⣹⣟⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⡏⠘⠁⣿⣧⣤⣤⣶⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠑⠄⠄⢰⣿⠃⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⡿⢟⣿⣿⠅⠄⠄⠄⠠⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠁⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠉⠉⠉⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⡼⢃⠰⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠏⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠁⢰⡶⠖⠈⠑⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀ ⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Text-to-Speech Playing