[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
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Vaporeon

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
November 2020

Pokemon

Being a hentai actress must be so weird

Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000¥ microphone about how much you love old man dick at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.
May 2021

Weebs

LOL rage face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣤⣤⠤⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⡿⠿⢲⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⠟⠁⢀⣤⣾⣿⠟⠋⣉⣀⣀⣀⣈⣉⣩⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡟⠁⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠏⠠⠞⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠁⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⠏⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⢛⣿⣿⣤⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠳⣶⣶⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣦⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠉⠀⠈⠛⠿⠶⣦⣤⣴⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠁⢀⣀⣤⣀⡀⠀⠙⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠴⠖⢻⣿⠃⢀⣴⡿⠉⠉⠉⠻⣦⠀⠀⢿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠖⠀⣠⣿⠃⠀⣼⡿⣿⡟⢲⡶⣤⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠿⢯⣥⣤⣤⣤⠖⠀⣿⡏⠀⢰⣿⣀⣿⣀⣸⣀⣿⣉⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠂⣼⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠈⣧⠀⠸⡆⠀⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠸⣧⠀⣷⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠘⣷⣻⡇⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠾⠿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠲⢶⣬⡙⠻⣦⠀⠀⢀⡿⠁⢸⡟⠉⠙⠓⠲⣄⠀⢸⣷⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⢻⡟⣧⠀⠀⠸⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠻⢦⣄⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣆⠀⠈⢷⡘⣧⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⡀⠙⠷⠀⣿⠀⠀⣿⠶⠶⡶⠶⡶⢶⠶⢿⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠻⣿⡷⣤⣀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⣄⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⣧⣸⣧⣤⡇⢸⣆⣼⡏⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣧⡀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠉⠓⢦⣀⠈⠻⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣅⠀⠈⠉⢙⣻⡟⠀⠀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠶⣤⣽⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⣼⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⣤⣼⣿⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠓⠶⠶⠶⠆⠀⠉⠛⠛⢻⣾⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣶⡶⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⠾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Germany scores on Brazil

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Brazil, Germany scores a goal. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing