I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
I used to be a real ad
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How I got into Harvard
Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview.
As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. 
Rick and Morty
Hey Kripp, its Chad from the college football team
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, its Chad from the college football team, how you been bro? I see you're still playing video games some things never change! Hey are you still playing the wizard of warcraft game? I never had time for video games I was too busy playing football and going to frat parties. Anyways good seeing you bro,call me and we can hit the clubs.
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Kripp
Hello Michael Santana, this is your local tax officer
twitchquotes:
Hello Michael Santana, this is your local tax officer. Your last reply as to why you haven't paid your taxes is unnacceptable. "I'll check it out later" and "You know how I get down" are NOT valid excuses. We are sending our men over RIGHT NOW to start repossessing your house.
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imaqtpie
BabyRage pyramid
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Kripp
Navy Seals Copypasta in Yoda Language
You just fucking say about me what the fuck did, you little bitch? Graduated top of my class in the navy seals I have, and involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda I've been, over 300 confirmed kills and I have. Trained in gorilla warfare and the top sniper in the entire us armed forces I am. Hing to me but just another target you are not. Never been seen before on this earth. Wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has, I will, mark my fucking words. You can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet you think? Again think, fucker. Contacting my secret network of spies across the USA I am, and being traced right now your IP is. So prepare for the storm as we speak, you better ,maggot. Your life the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call. Fucking dead, you are, kid. Anywhere I can be, anytime, and kill you in over seven hundred ways, I can , and with my bare hands ,that's just . Extensively trained in unarmed combat not only am I, access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps, I also have, and use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, I will, you little shit. Known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you if only you could have. Held your fucking tongue maybe you would have. But you couldn't, you didn't, the price and now you're paying, you goddamn idiot. shit fury all over you, I will and drown in it, you will. Fucking dead, you are kiddo.