I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
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Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
I sexually Identify as an the sun
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
FeelsDankMan
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⡻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿⡿⠛⡍⠉⠙⣿⡆⣒⣈⣥⣤⣶⢖⠒⢲⣶⣽
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠂⠀⠁⣨⠜⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠰⠀⢋⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠩⠝⠊⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣁⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣛⣓⠲⠖⠒⠋⢉⣉⠩⠥⢐⣶⣽⣷⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣔⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⣔⣴⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣽⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿
Pepe
xqcRage
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢀⠊⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠂⠸⣿⠿⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢡⣤⣤⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠐⠒⠚⠛⠛⠻⠇⠀⠀
⣉⣁⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⡀⠀⢀⣤⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢤⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠂⠀⠒⠻⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠙⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠉⠙⠛⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢉⣿⢶⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢀⠀⠸⠧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣈⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠘⠛⠋⣩⣭⣬⣠⣬⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣦⣤⣄⣀⢀⣠⣤⡀⡴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
xQcOW
Grandmaster accused of cheating, responds hilariously
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...