[Copypasta] Equal rights equal fights

I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg. So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
May 2022
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More Copypastas

Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Momo 3

⣿⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣷⡀⠸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠰⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠆⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠻⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⢸⣦⡙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡈⠛⠻⠿⠛⢋⣴⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⢿⣿⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⡟⠄⠄⣮⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣦⡀⠈⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣴⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠉⠻⢿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠛⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿
March 2019

Bender demends a voltron deck

twitchquotes: ¦̵ ̵ ̵ ̵ ̵(̢ ̡└̅┘͇ (▤8כ−◦ BENDER demands a VOLTRON deck
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

Chat has just turned into a cesspool

twitchquotes: At this point in the night the chat has just turned into a cesspool. There is no point in trying to have a meaningful discussion with anyone, it's just copy pasta this PJ Salt that. And the worst part is no one in the chat knows how to play the game so they just give ass advice. If this gets copied I will leave.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing