I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Lego city
A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Wuhan city.
Start the acetylene torch.
HEY!
Build the acetylene torch.
Lock him up in his apartment.
Weld the door shut.
And censor the media.
The new events that didn't happen from Wuhan city.
(sets not available in China)
Coronavirus
Lego City
COVID
Shut your eyes and listen closely
twitchquotes:
Shut your eyes and listen closely. Do you feel it? The gentle clicks of a finely crafted keyboard massaging your eardrums? The soft soothing moan that comes from a man that has seen the inside of his attic and understands many things? The jovial chuckles awakening memories of the trips with the family to your uncle's barn on a mild summer evening when you were a kid? That is what Kripp's stream is to me. I am at peace.
twitch chat
Kripp
Cursed Cat
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Parody names for the ACDC song Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Atrocious Acts Accomplished at Affordable Rates
Barbaric Business Bartered at Bargain Costs
Contemptible Coups Carried out at Cut Rates
Dastardly Doings Dealt at Discounted Payments
Evil Endeavors Enacted at Extraordinary Deals
Filthy Feats Furnished through Fair Expenses
Gross Games Garnished through Good Contracts
Heinous Hooliganism Haggled to Humble Budget
Immoral Incidents Issued at Inconsequential Fees
Jarring Jobs Judged Justly Priced
Kriminal Kapers Kompleted at Kompetitive Prices
Licentious Larceny Licensed at Low Tariffs
Malicious Missions Made with Minimal Resources
Nefarious Notions Negotiated at Negligible Charges
Ominous Operations Outsourced at Optimal Prices
Perilous Performances Priced at Pocket Change
Questionable Quests Quarried at Quackpot Terms
Rambunctious Rackets Realized at Reduced Figures
Sinister Shenanigans Supplied at Satisfactory Pay
Thuggish Things Terminated at Trivial Fees
Unscrupulous Undertakings Unleashed at Unusual Discount
Villanous Ventures Valued at Vexing Costs.
Wicked Work Waged at Wee Fares
Xecrable Xploits Xecuted Xtremely Inexpensively
Yucky Yerks Yielded as Year-End Sales
Zany Zinging Zoned for Zero Markup
Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
“You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
“Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
“You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.”
“How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
“You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.”
“Will I not die?”
“You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist”
…
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.