[Copypasta] Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ» legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Ape rocket

πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸ΅πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž
April 2021

WallStreetBets

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Team Bull vs Team Bear

Team Bull Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi Donny "Stop the count" Mango Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen Lisa "Su Bae" Su Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen ------------------------------------------------------------------------ VS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Bear Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet Which team will win? Team Bull or Team Bear? Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Special Guests: That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18 Life savings SPCE calls guy Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

WallStreetBets

NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ NOT PRESSING β€œSELL” ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 I’LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ CAN’T STOP. WON’T STOP. GAMESTOP. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 TOMORROW, I THINK I’LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ I’LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND IT’S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND I’M NOT SELLING, AND I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing