Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโs not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโs a ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
I used to be a real ad
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Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading
Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
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So Iโm an AMC shareholder
So Iโm an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I canโt believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now Iโm typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
WallStreetBets
WSB Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp ๐
Elon TechnoCuckLord ๐ค+๐คด
Jeff Divorcedzos ๐
Salmonella ๐ Nutella ๐ซ
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman ๐คก
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya ๐
Ryan Cocken your butthole ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ณ
๐ฅ Z ๐ฅ U ๐ฅ C ๐ฅ C ๐ฅ
Tim ๐ Bottom ๐
ฑ๏ธENIS
Jack Ma MIA ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the ๐ปs' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods ๐โ๏ธ
WallStreetBets
Little dribble drop
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youโre done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itโs only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.
WallStreetBets
We should buy Reddit
We should buy Reddit.
Not the stock. The actual company.
If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website.
We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make.
I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners:
Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization.
Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart"
NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW.
Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet.
Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern.
We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod.
Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's.
I think this is a great idea.
Keep it high and tight.
๐๐๐๐๐๐