[Copypasta] It’s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

It’s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? It’s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Space Invaders

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▄████▄▄░░░░░ ░░░▄██████████▄░░░ ░▄██▄██▄██▄██▄██▄░ ░░░▀█▀░░▀▀░░▀█▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▀▄░░░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░░▄█▀███▀█▄░░░░ ░░░█▀███████▀█░░░ ░░░█░█▀▀▀▀▀█░█░░░ ░░░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄░▀▄░░░▄▀░▄░░░ ░░░█▄███████▄█░░░ ░░░███▄███▄███░░░ ░░░▀█████████▀░░░ ░░░░▄▀░░░░░▀▄░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░▄▄████▄▄░░░░░ ░░░██████████░░░░ ░░░██▄▄██▄▄██░░░░ ░░░░▄▀▄▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░ ░░░▀░░░░░░░░▀░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▄██▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░▄██████▄░░░░░ ░░░███▄██▄███░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀▄▄▀▄░░░░░░ ░░░░▀░▀░░▀░▀░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░ ░░▄███████████▄░░ ░░█████████████░░ ░░█████████████░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
September 2021

Artosis the Great

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian! This is your lord and saviour, Artosis the Great! I have boarded my private jet to Greecerino to meet you and your lovely wiferino Rania. See you soon! Much loverino, please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021

I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times

FUCK YOU. I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times. GET FUCKING ORIGINAL. Jesus fucking christ. Stop saying the same fucking thing over and over and over again. Just because you don't agree with me DOES NOT HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH PARTIES. What the fuck. Do you fucking fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your shitty-ass parties in the first place. I'll stick to my wine and cheese dinners, you know, REAL FUCKING PARTIES. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original. You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet. You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. WELL I'M FUCKING tired. of it. I'm tired. Say that to me one more fucking time and I will find you. I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun. It's not clever. It's really fucking hurtful. Thanks a lot, dick. So what if you don't like what I said. Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my bullshit by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more fucking party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the fucking chain and fucking report all you motherfuckers who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties. Try me. I will do it. I will go STRAIGHT TO THE FUCKING TOP and then I'll be the one laughing while you beg for my mercy. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony? I'll say "You must be fun at parties." So yeah, If you must know, I am pretty fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, dick.
August 2021

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing