It’s Morbin time!
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
It’s time for Morbin.
## Why did I do this?
There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to:
I am very Morby
I see you being morbin-able
You morbed me first
## Is Morbius THE movie of all time?
Yes
## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct.
Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
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More Copypastas
Ben Shapiro counts to one million
So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
Ben Shapiro
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen.
When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place.
There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise.
And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work.
Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable.
And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts.
And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
Kripp defending Blizzard on Diablo Immortal
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, video game journalist and decent human being here. Looking to get your thoughts on the disgusting response of entitled gamers to the Diablo Immortal reveal. On a scale from Hitler (least evil) to Straight White Male PC Gamer (most evil), how would you characterize those who criticize Blizzard? Hope to hear you are as unbiased as I am, thanks!
twitch chat
Kripp
Chibi Leona
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League of Legends
Yuumi this, Yuumi that
twitchquotes:
Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
imaqtpie