[Copypasta] How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Classic Copypastas

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Just kidding, it's still Tanner

twitchquotes: H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

You've been gnomed

████████▓▓████████▓▓█████████████
██████▓▓█████████████▓███████████
█████▓███████████████▓███████████
████▓█████████████████▒██████████
████▓▓▓▒░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒░▒▒░▒▒▗▒▒▒▒▒▒▗▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████
█████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃▒░░░▒▃▒▒███████████
██████▓▒▒▒▒▒▃▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃░▒▒█████████
███████▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████████
█████████▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████
██████████░▒░░░░░░░░░░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓
▓▓█████████████▒░░░▒████▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▓
▒▒▒▒▒▒▓███████████████████▒░░▒▒▒█
▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒█████████████▒████░▒████
█▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒████████████▒███████████
███▓▒▓▓▒█████████████████████████
░░█▀▀░░█▄░█░█▀▀█░█▄░▄█░█▀▀░█▀▄
░░█░▀█░█░▀█░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░█░█
░░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░▀▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░
October 2018

Classic

Qt has finally reached rank one

twitchquotes: The year is 2050, league is played by less than 100 people. Qt has finally reached rank one, "Lisha I did it!" he yells excitedly. The sound echoes through the empty mansion. Lisha left long ago...
twitch chat
May 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing