[Copypasta] TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?” I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager?

twitchquotes: Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager? And I'm referring to a Don Han'Cho'd, Blessed Champion'd Magma Rager, with a pre-nerfed Master of Disguise stealth, a Wee Spellstopper on one side, a Dire Wolf Alpha on the other side, an Ancestral Spirit, a Murloc racial tag, golden animations, a pre-nerf Blood Imp supporting it, with Windfury, Charge, Taunt and Divine Shield, Deathrattle: Replace your hero with the above-described Magma Rager?
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

Pika girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠤⢄⣀⡏⠉⠁⠒⠢⢷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⢀⣠⡤⠖⠚⡏⠉⠉⠁⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠠⢄⠀⠎⠁⠀⠰⣀⠀⠀⠄⠈⠙⠆⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠻⣧⡀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠀⣀⡤⠤⠖⡒⠿⠥⣄⡀⠀⢠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⠲⢼⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠛⠁⢀⢴⡘⠰⡀⡦⡀⡍⠲⢄⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠁⡄⣠⣧⠎⠘⠁⠀⠣⠁⠱⡏⢆⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⢀⡇⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠬⣼⡀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠸⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⢸⢹⠄⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠉⢇⠀⣽⡄⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣏⢠⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⢪⢷⣸⠀⣹⣴⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢰⠉⢌⣄⠟⣤⠀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⡵⠋⣾⣻⢡⠃⡇⡆⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠘⠀⠀⠪⢴⢸⠙⠊⠉⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠯⠞⠁⠹⡹⠐⠀⠁⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⡰⠁⠙⢦⡀⠘⡄⠀⠑⠄⣀⢹⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡃⡇⡀⠀⠀⢀⠇ ⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢦⠀⠀⠀⠹⡘⡌⣢⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠴⠚⠓⡇⡏⢀⣠⠔⠊⠀ ⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠑⠒⠒⠒⢣⣩⣀⡞⠉⡽⢄⣀⣵⠛⢭⠑⡖⢲⣳⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠋⣻⠢⠀⠈⢇⠺⡘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠢⣄⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠝⣆⠀⠀⠸⡀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠠⠧⡤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠙⠀⠀⠀⢪⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠒⠠⠴⢮⣁⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⠉⢢⣄⡀⠀⢸⠄⡇⠀⠀⡠⠋⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠑⢤⠎⠁⠀⠀⠙⠫⣍⠁⠀⡽⠒⠋⠀⠀⠀⠑⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠒⣼⣀⠠⡪⠭⠩⢔⠄⠑⡎⢀⠀⣀⠤⡀⠀⠀⠈⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠉⡠⠐⠛⠂⠤⠀⠀⠙⢄⠅⠀⠀⡠⠇⠓⠒⠓⡙⠀⠀⠑⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡇⡀⠀⠀⠈⢢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⣠⠤⠬⠮⠶⠒⠒⠤⠤⠤⠴⠢⠬⠥⠀⠄⠍⠍⠉⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⠀⠈
March 2021

Weebs

Nazi doge

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄ ░░░░░░░░▌▒█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▌ ░░░░░░░░▌▒▒█░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░▄▄▀▒░░█░█▀▀▒▒▒█▒▒▄█▒▐ ░░░▄▀▒▒▒░░░▀▀█▀█░▒▒▒▀██▀▒▌ ░░▐▒▒▒▄▄▒▒▒▀▀▀░▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▒▒▌ ░░▌░░▌█▀▒▒▒▒▒████▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▒▐ ░▐░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒████▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀▄▌ ░▌░▒▄██▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▌ ▀▒▀▐▄█▄█▌▄░▀▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒
November 2014

My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=¤◥█̆◤My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus, commander of the Armies of the RNG, General of the ◥█̆◤ Legions, loyal servant to the true Shaman Kripparrian. Buff to a ◥█̆◤ son, and buff to a ◥█̆◤ wife. I will make all totems mighty, whether in this game or the next. <:::::[]=¤◥█̆◤
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey Doublelift, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco

twitchquotes: HEY DOUBLELIFT, I’M TRYING TO LEARN TO PLAY SHACO. I JUST HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE SKILL BUILD: SHOULD I MAX BACKSTAB LIKE YOU BACKSTABBED CLG, DECEIVE LIKE YOU DECEIVED CLG, OR HALLUCINATE LIKE YOU MADE CLG HALLUCINATE ABOUT HAVING A CHANCE AT WINNING ANOTHER TOURNAMENT
twitch chat
November 2015
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing