TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Things are looking up for me (and down for you)
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I don’t need you. There are a whole lot of other streamers that deserve my time and support. As they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish without husbands too... you liar skank. I will no longer be dedicating 1/3 of my day to moderating your chat. Let the wildebeests roam... and if you need me, I’ll be in STPeach’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a liar bitchface.
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Simps
Pepega
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⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⡟⢀⡀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣀⣁⣿⠏
⠁⠁⠁⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢰⢻⣿⣇⣈⣴⣿⠟⢨⣛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠁
⠁⣠⣶⣿⣿⡟⢋⠤⣤⠘⢿⣿⣧⡙⠻⠌⠒⠙⠛⢛⣫⣥⣿⣦⡈⠉⣡⣴⣾⠇
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Pepe
Coated like a plasterer's radio
twitchquotes:
After having my birth cannon pounded, he then proceeded to raid my poo pipe. My stench trench was trembling like a rat on acid. The seemingly never-ending streams of gentleman's relish emanating from his thrill drill soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio
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Forsen
Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education.
Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will..
Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live.
You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
COPY THIS GOO TO HELP G2
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COPY 
THIS GOO TO HELP G2 COPY THIS GOO TO HELP G2
THIS GOO TO HELP G2 COPY THIS GOO TO HELP G2
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Riot Games