[Copypasta] TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?” I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral

Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! 😂😂👀 "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! 😤😤😂 His joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🤬 What's that? His joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.🤭 In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment 😏. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" 😬😲. WOW! 🤪 Another reference I had to explain to you. 🤦‍♂️🤭 I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.😏😂
October 2021

Damn missed the TSLA pump

Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
January 2021

WallStreetBets

forsenSleeper

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡾⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⣶⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⢣⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠛⣿⣿⠃ ⣿⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣸⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣤⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢶⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣍⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄ ⡏⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣁⡹⠿⣿⣤⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠘ ⡇⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⣿⠄⠄⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⠻⣿⢛⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣆⠑⢎⠄⢀⡃⣼
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Priorities yo

twitchquotes: Kripp you obviously don't understand it's viewers that bring you money, and your job is to entertain them. Playing deathwing will decrease your chance to win by 1% but get all the viewers happy. Priorities yo.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing