TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health
twitchquotes:
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health. We have received reports of excessive 
production on your Twitch channel. You are a toxic individual and are hereby classified a Class A threat to national security. Please turn yourself in at the nearest 
station to be deported.
production on your Twitch channel. You are a toxic individual and are hereby classified a Class A threat to national security. Please turn yourself in at the nearest station to be deported.
twitch chat
Kripp
salty
copy: pastad
gamer head: on
knuckles: cracked
gaming goggles: on
arms: stretched
gamer girl pee: drinked
girlfriend: none
gay best friend: invited
wife: beaten
wife: cheated on
daughter: abandoned
child: destroyed
your mom: fucked
rockets: launched
funding: secured
anime: loved
Japan: nuked
HIV: positive
blood: donated
American genocide: denied
milf: hunted
milfs: lewded
babies: yeeted
emerald splash: deflated
society: segregated
Israel: destroyed
heroin: shot
milk: consumed
mother: donuted
father: robbed
identity: hidden
traitor: kakyoined
Italian drug trade: monopolized
masters: awaken
Caeser: killed
left wing: destroyed
lib: owned
hog: cranked
pants: shid
bottom: text
top: text
Hotel: Trivago
Hotel: Mario
Duke: Nukem
cer: armic
balls: crushed
balls: ligma
the imposter: sus
sussy: balls
Gucci: gang
Delivery: Digiorno
Peterbilt: gassed
Half: life
pog: gers
Vaporeon: cool 
edit: spelling
edit: spelling
Walk down isle to Space Jam and merry Hafu
twitchquotes:
Hello kripp, I am psychic peter pasterino who can predict the futurino. I have mind visioned that in 5 years you will walk down the isle to Space Jam and topkiss your bride, Hafu. There were many Well Mets and toasts with OJ. If you wish for this to come true, though, you must proclaim your true love for her soon before it is too laterino.
twitch chat
Kripp
Nut
⣤⣤⡀⠀⣤⣤⡤⢠⣤⣤⡀⣠⣤⡄⣠⣤⣠⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀
⠘⣿⣧⡀⠀⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⡟⠁⢹⣯⠀⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⡇⠘⢿⣤⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣠⣧⠀⠈⢻⣿⠀⠀⢿⣧⡀⣠⡿⠀⠀⠀⣸⣋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀
We Live In A Society
We Live In A Society in which us Gamers are ridiculed, mocked, shunned, bullied and ridiculed for simply choosing to undertake a hobby which requires critical thinking, lightning-fast reflexes and JUST AN OUNCE (in case you can’t tell, that is an understatement) more brainpower than what is required your typical ball game. However, females, in their backwards and downright unreasonable thinking, see us as bottom-dwelling, subhuman freaks and would rather settle for the bottom line of evolution, aka jocks (or “Chad”).
In order for Our Society to progress, this mindset must be completely eradicated and us Gamers, with our genetic high intelligence, impeccable combat knowledge and indescribable reasoning skills, must be allowed to impregnate females of our choosing with our seed. If this current course continues, humanity as a whole will be plagued with low-IQ specimens and unsatisfactory evolutionary progress. Do you think that extraterrestrial, intellectuals beings will look upon us as a species, no, as a SOCIETY, to be communed with, to be seen as EQUALS, if our highest evolutionary success is measured by how far you can throw a ball? Don’t make me laugh, sir.
Aside from your basic genetic and evolutionary advantages to be gained by having females (of our choosing) breed with us Gamers, we can also assure that they will be treated like the Goddesses that we see them as. No more will they be spending countless nights being physically abused and emotionally destroyed by your Common Chad. They will be shown courteous treatment of the highest quality by a true Gentlemen. Instead of Chad taking Stacy out to a restaurant, only to leave her the bill and abandon her that very same night to coitally engage with Veronica, they will be subjected to sublime culinary delights, tender strips selected from the finest breed of Poultry your normie brain could not even begin to comprehend, personelly delivered to my safe haven beneath my mother’s residence, paid for in currency I am earned by doing simple, gentlemenly duties for my beloved Matriarch. And she will euphorically enjoy her meal as I give her the foot massage she had craved for so long, a simple pleasure denied by the very selfish and obsolete mind of Chad.
So you see, the next time you seek to inquire if our movement is mere “satire”, You may wish to simply stop. Just stop, and instead of mocking us Gamers, perhaps try, as futile as it may be, to engage in intelligent discussion to the level of our satisfaction. Because you see, their time is coming. The age of the Chad is over. The age of the Gamers is upon us.
Gamers Rise Up.