[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I sexually Identify as TheLegend27

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as TheLegend27. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the armies of my enemies hurling big, hard boulders at disgusting cavalry. People say to me that a person being TheLegend27 is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Game of War: Fire Age, trebuchets and 90kg stones on my body.
twitch chat
January 2017

I sexually Identify as

Anime girl

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–β–€β–β–€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–Œβ–β–€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ
November 2014

Weebs

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

Cradle both balls

twitch chat
June 2017

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing