[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Principle of explosion

We know that "Not all lemons are yellow", as it has been assumed to be true. We know that "All lemons are yellow", as it has been assumed to be true. Therefore, the two-part statement "All lemons are yellow OR unicorns exist" must also be true, since the first part "All lemons are yellow" of the two-part statement is true (as this has been assumed). However, since we know that "Not all lemons are yellow" (as this has been assumed), the first part is false, and hence the second part must be true.
August 2021

Hands Up emoji

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⡟⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠙⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⠋⠀⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠛⠉⠉⠿⠉⠉⠛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿
ascii art
February 2020

Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020

Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries

twitchquotes: Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries. Before Energizer I would be listening to my walkman and the battery would die and then I could hear my wife in the other room having sex with you. That would lead me to tears. Now using Energizer the battery doesn't die as quickly and I can listen to your VODs that I ripped without your permission on repeat and not notice her taking it hard. I don't need to rehydrate as often since I won't be crying. Thank you
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

Taking Forsen's tournament wins for a walk

twitchquotes: Don't mind me just taking Forsen's tournament wins for a walk -( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲___0
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen
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