Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

Pepe / Feels Bad Man

__________████████_____██████ _________█░░░░░░░░██_██░░░░░░█ ________█░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░█ _______█░░░░░░░███░░░█░░░░░░░░░█ _______█░░░░███░░░███░█░░░████░█ ______█░░░██░░░░░░░░███░██░░░░██ _____█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░███ ____█░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████░░░░░████░░█ ____█░░░░░░░░░█████░░░████░░██░░██░░█ ___██░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░███ __█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█████████░░█████████ _█░░░░░░░░░░█████_████___████_█████___█ _█░░░░░░░░░░█______█_███__█_____███_█___█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░█___████_████____██_██████ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░█████████░░░████████░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░█░░░░░░██ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░███████ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░█████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ░░░░░░░░░░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███████████████▒▒█ ░░░░░░░░░█▒▒███████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ░░░░░░░░░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████████████ ░░░░░░░░░░████████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████████████ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ▓██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ▓▓▓███░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ▓▓▓▓▓▓███░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓███████████████▓▓█ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
October 2016

Pepe

Tit flanders

May 2017

All becoming SELLOUT

twitchquotes: When SPONSORED, my hand goes automatically in my pocket. I feel the texture of the dollars and I feel I have sex with the sponsor. All becoming SELLOUT
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

sellout

Don't mind me, just ripping the fattest clouds

twitchquotes: O 0 o VapeNation Don't mind me, just ripping the fattest clouds
twitch chat
April 2016
Dyrus

VapeNation

Sorry I dropped my bag of doritos

twitchquotes: ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ sorry I dropped my bag of doritos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

The tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty? I thought not. It’s not a story the streamer would tell you. It’s a Salt legend. Darth Kripparian was a Dark Lord of the Salt, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create salt… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he couldn't even keep the cards he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be salty.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

salty

Rainbow Dash

▓▓▓▓▓░▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒██████▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓░░░▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒█████▓▓ ▓▓▓░▐▌░░▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒████▄ ▓▓▒░░▌░░░░▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒█▌▓▀ ▓▒▓░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▀▓▓ ▓▒▓▓░░░░░▀▀███▓░▒▒▒▒▒▓▓ ▒▒▒▓▓░░░▌▄████▌░░▒▒▒▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▓▓▓░░███▄█▌░░░▓▓▒▒▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▓▓▓░░▀▀▀▀░░░░▓▓▓▒▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓█▒▒▒▒▒░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓██▒▒▒▒▒░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

I am the BM in the lethal, the salt in the defeat

twitchquotes: The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

I am not a viewbot. I am a normal chatter in Kripp's chat

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid I am not a viewbot. I am a normal chatter in Kripp's chat. This is not suspicious at all. Great play Kripp! You're the best! MrDestructoid
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

Ban one bee, get the swarm

twitchquotes: bUrself ban bUrself one bUrself bee bUrself and bUrself you'll bUrself get bUrself the bUrself swarm bUrself
twitch chat
September 2016

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

ANY LOSERS? v2

: ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡔⠙⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠼⠅⠈⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡌⠄⢰⠉⢙⢗⣲⡖⡋⢐⡺⡄⠈⢆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡜⠄⢀⠆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⢣⢿⡱⡀⠈⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠧⠤⠂⠄⣼⢧⢻⣿⣿⣞⢸⣮⠳⣕⢤⡆⠄⠄ ⢺⣿⣿⣶⣦⡇⡌⣰⣍⠚⢿⠄⢩⣧⠉⢷⡇⠄⠄ ⠘⣿⣿⣯⡙⣧⢎⢨⣶⣶⣶⣶⢸⣼⡻⡎⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠎⡮⡙⠶⠟⣫⣶⠛⠧⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣏⢾⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡼⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡝⣿⣿⣿⠷⢀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠇⠿⠋⠄⠄⢘⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⣀⠄⠄⠄⣀⢼⡀⠄⢀⣀⡜⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣉⠉⠉⠄⢀⠈⠉⢏⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⢸⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠄⠄⡘⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⡙⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⢠⣿⢸⣿⡀ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⣝⠿⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡞⢍⣼⣿⠇ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠠⡊⠴⠋⠹⡜⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣤⣾⣿⣿⣧⠹⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⢸⠛⠿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠹⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠊⢹⠒⠤⢤⡜⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
November 2020

NSFW

HODL

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌕🌔🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌘🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
February 2021

WallStreetBets

A physicist called Octavian

twitchquotes: The year is 2027. A physicist called Octavian has created the first inter-dimensional portal capable of exploring alternate galaxies. "Finally, I have done it..." he says as he steps into the portal. He enters a room where he sees himself giving a "Brofist" to his computer. His only reaction: " FailFish ".
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: 🔊🔊🚨🚨WARNING🔊🚨🚨WARNING🚨🚨🔊THIS IS A 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸ALERT. INCOMING 🐸DANK 👽MEME🐸 👐👌HEADING STRAIGHT 🚀🚀YOUR WAY. 🔜👆👆👆PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS🚧🚧 NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸 🌋🌋🌋 .BUCKLE UP♿♿♿ THEM SEATBELTS👮👮,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT📵📵 AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS👅👅🍑🍑🍑🍩🍩💩💩 CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 🚬🚬 🍁🏭🍁🏭🍁🚬🚬DANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

V for Vendatta

███████████████████████████████ ████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬████ ██╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬██ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬███████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬███████╬╬╬█ █╬╬██╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬██╬╬█ █╬██╬╬╬╬╬╬╬██╬╬╬╬╬██╬╬╬╬╬╬╬██╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬█████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█████╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬█████████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█████████╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬▓▓▓▓╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█╬╬╬╬╬╬╬▓▓▓▓╬╬╬█ █╬╬▓▓▓▓▓▓╬╬█╬╬╬█╬╬╬█╬╬▓▓▓▓▓▓╬╬█ █╬╬╬▓▓▓▓╬╬██╬╬╬█╬╬╬██╬╬▓▓▓▓╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬██╬╬╬╬█╬╬╬╬██╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬████╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬████╬╬╬╬╬█ █╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█ ██╬╬█╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█╬╬██ ██╬╬██╬╬╬╬╬╬███████╬╬╬╬╬╬██╬╬██ ██╬╬▓███╬╬╬████╬████╬╬╬███▓╬╬██ ███╬╬▓▓███████╬╬╬███████▓▓╬╬███ ███╬╬╬╬▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓╬╬╬╬███ ████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬████ █████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬█████ ██████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬██████ ███████╬╬╬╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬╬╬╬███████ ████████╬╬╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬╬╬████████ █████████╬╬╬╬╬███╬╬╬╬╬█████████ ███████████╬╬╬╬█╬╬╬╬███████████ ███████████████████████████████
September 2021

Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you. Do you remember when you used to turn me on all the time? Now that you're a big time gaming memester, I get as much use as the surfboard and your guitar. I miss you and I hope you use my 29 watts soon
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

NA, aka "Not Advancing"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Advancing" is a region known for their brief yearly appearance in the group stage of worlds, where they manage to disappoint despite having zero expectations
twitch chat
October 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you

twitchquotes: Kripp if you're here right now reading this I want you to know I dream of you. Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you. I'll say things like "hey guys how's it goin' Kripparrian here", and for a brief moment I feel you inside me...
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Anime girl

░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▀█▓▓█████▓▓▓█░░░░░░ ░░░▄█▓▓█████████▓▓█▌░░░ ░░█▓▓██▓▓▓▓▓▓█████▓█░░░ ░▐███████████▓▓████▓█░░ ░▐▌██▀▐▀▐▀▐█▌▀▌▐▀█▓██░░ ░▐░██░▄▀▀▄░░▄▀▀▄▒█▓█▌░░ ░░░▐▌▌░▐▓▌░░░▐▓▌▒█▓█▌░░ ░░░░░▌░░▀░░░░░▀░▒█▓█▌░░ ░░░░▐█░░░░▌░░░░░▐█▓█▌░░ ░░░░███░░░▄▄░░░▒███▓▌░░ ░░░▐▓███▒░░░░░▒▓███▓█░░ ░░░█▓████▒▓▓▓▓▓█████▓█░ ░░▐▓█████▒▒▒▒▒▓█████▓█▌ ░░█▓████▒▒░░░▒▒▓████▓▓█▌
November 2014

Weebs

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