[Copypasta] This is the world we have wrought

twitchquotes: The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: ███ 10 stroke dick ff ☑ EKT ☾ ☆ ¸. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ HA ʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ ♌ ❛ั∗)◞ TUCK F (◡‿◡✿)". This is the world we have wrought.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

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Somewhere in a parallel universe, Reynad isn't salty

twitchquotes: ★  ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * . .  ¸ .   °  ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere   ° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ .  ★ ° :.  . • °   .  * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸     ° ☾ °☆  . * ¸.   ★ ★ ° . .    . ☾ °☆  . * ● ¸ ..Reynad...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ ° :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * Isn't salty ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ °
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

My laptop gets hot when chat is spammed

twitchquotes: Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat
twitch chat
August 2014

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Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: DatSheffy 📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing