I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14
twitchquotes:
This chat disgusts me. 40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14. The other 40% are 14 year olds pretending to be 41. And the remaining 30% just copy pastes the longest message they can find in the chat. Grow up chat, grow up. 
twitch chat
Classic
I hate Twitch Chat
Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth
twitchquotes:
Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth: ~ 
ใใใ ~ ใใใใใใใใ~ ใใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใใใใใ ใ~ ~ ใ ใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใ ใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใใใใใใ~ ใใใใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใ ใใใ~
ใใใ ~ ใใใใใใใใ~ ใใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใใใใใ ใ~ ~ ใ ใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใ ใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใใใใ~ ใใใใใใใใ~ ใใใใใ~ ใใใใใใ~ ใ ใใใ~
twitch chat
Forsen
Classic
KappaPride
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
Avoid embarrasing incidents
twitchquotes:
Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. 
twitch chat
Classic
Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty
twitchquotes:
My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat