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Teamfight Tactics copypastas

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You need a high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics

twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics. The intricacies of combat are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Kenjutsu most of the fights will leave those unprepared, dead and frustrated. There’s also the stealth aspects, which are deftly woven into the gameplay - this tactical approach draws heavily from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depth of the gameplay.
twitch chat
June 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Bow Gnar

A Bow Gnar is a physiological phenomenon in which the Gnar at full Mana becomes firm with extra Armor, engorged with HP, and enlarged. Bow Gnar is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular, and endocrine factors, and is often associated with shapeshifter's bestialities, although Bow Gnar can also be spontaneous. The shape, angle, and direction of a Bow Gnar varies considerably between players.
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

haven’t done assassins in a while

twitchquotes: "alright, locket I guess” ResidentSleeper “haven’t done assassins in a while” ResidentSleeper “guess I’ll pick up this akali” ResidentSleeper “oh look, 6 assassins” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

As a auto chess main at a respectably high elo

twitchquotes: As a auto chess main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn autochess PM me (im silver 2 24lp) I also do coaching.
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Teamfight Tactics

the unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's chess game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but I just keep lowrolling and going eif!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
September 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

I used to be a real ad

Hi Toast this is Mrs. Laurent - Fiora's mom

twitchquotes: Hi Toast this is Mrs. Laurent - Fiora's mom. I noticed you have been picking my girl for your team in gym class. Fiora has been having a really tough time since her dad and I split up, and I know how much it means to her. You could have been rerolling saying: "We're never taking Fiora." It warms my tired heart that you would show such kindness and give a struggling girl with a good, noble soul a chance. Bless you Toastfor never giving up on my dear little girl
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Hi David, this is Akali's daughter

twitchquotes: Hi David, this is Akali's daughter. I noticed you have been picking my mom for your team in gym class. i have been having a really tough time since she left home, and it doesn’t make it easy on me when you reroll and say "i guess we're going assasins.“ I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if your mom left you to go carry an old man. Akali is just a poor single mom that is overworked to death. Why don’t you try being a little more exclusive.
twitch chat
July 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??” after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says “alright, bet”. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table “fuck it, we’re all in this round”. Soju confidently throws down his cards “3 aces, KEWK”. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand “I have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5”
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

Kennen's son

twitchquotes: Hey Hydra, this is Kennen's son. You pick my dad so much I don't get to see him anymore. Can't you give him a break or two every now and then? He's in your comp every game and he's so tired all the time from you working him so hard. Please Hydra, I just want my dad back.
twitch chat
August 2019
DarkHydra

Teamfight Tactics

Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son

twitchquotes: Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

What happened to this ad? :(

Hey reckful, Akali’s sensie here

twitchquotes: Hey reckful, Akali’s sensie here. The way you always say how everyone is rolling for her. It’s effecting her mental state a lot, she has the great ninja AND assassin Exodia synergy. However, with all the people throwing money and wanting her to pop off she is starting to feel like a prostitute. Her back is hurting from all the carrying and F(*#$ she is doing in every game. Please tell others to slow their roll and consider how their actions can hurt others self identity well being.
twitch chat
August 2019
Reckful

Teamfight Tactics

Soju special starter kit

Soju special stater kit ✔ already won the game ✔ This lobby’s playing for second ✔ This is my last loss ✔ I win out from here ✔ My board is too lit ✔ HP is fake ✔ I’m about to spike hard ✔ That’s a fake loss ✔ 20hp? That’s 3 lives ✔ This game is over ✔ We win out ✔ We're actually scaling ✔ last loss ✔ it's a fast 9 ✔ going eif
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

if u finish reading this monkaW

twitchquotes: Hey Byron, I noticed you like to run comps around Aurelion Sol and I went ahead and did the math on a level 3 Aurelion Sol with Spear of Shojin and Zeke's buff and it turns out that if you finish reading this everyone in chat will be dead in the next 5 minutes monkaW
twitch chat
July 2019
Reckful

Teamfight Tactics

According to all known laws of TFT, there is no way a Soju should be able to fast 9

According to all known laws of TFT, there is no way a Soju should be able to fast 9 with this board. Its gold are too small, and its comp is not stable. The Soju, of course, goes fast 9 anyway because Soju doesn't care what humans think is a fast eif.
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Auto Chess Tanner

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Reckful" now nerd? Haha whats up rook-4, it's Tanner from DotA Underlords. Remember me? Me and the guys used to stop your win streak in the early rounds. Sorry you were just rolling a lot of pairs lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Katarina the girl you needed for assassin synergy? Yeah she’s in my imperial comp now. I have over 2 3 stars by round 3-5 and use an epic avatar. I guess some things never change huh 8ht place? Nice catching up lol.
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Tanner from High School

Teamfight Tactics

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Alright, ocean mage, I guess

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper “Alright, ocean mage, I guess” ResidentSleeper “Haven’t picked moist magician in a while, let’s go wet wizard ResidentSleeper “hydro conjuror isn’t that good, but alright” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

didn't expect to queue into you this game

twitchquotes: oh hey toast, didn't expect to queue into you this game haha so random! i'm actually streaming rn as well on my stream at twitchtv/xxxxxx maybe you can host me :) no big deal if not. enjoy your content! i'm streaming atm so check me out!
twitch chat
August 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle

twitchquotes: Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle. Long ago, the four mispronounced unit names lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Twitch Chat Nation attacked. Only the DogDog, master of all pepega names , could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.
twitch chat
August 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

Ninja Assassins is not fun or interactive

twitchquotes: Ninja Assassins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one crit without requiring any battles on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Teamfight Tactics more fun and compelling, but taking 20000+ damage in one Zed crit is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

I used to be a real ad

Sneaky's bad TFT advice

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Zachary. My name is Inigo Montoya and you killed my chances of making it to Top 4. I listened to your advice when you said that Cavalier comp is “LIT.” Every time I play it I get a fast 8th. For that reason, Mr. Scuderi, prepare to die.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing