How to commit all 7 deadly sins at once
If you angerly masturbate to another guy's money and jizz in your mouth and compliment yourself for the taste when you're on your shift at work, then you've committed all 7 sins... with room to spare.
Noggin Clontith and Amogus
Silence Liberal
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Crying Wojak behind mask
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣛⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣵⣾⣿⢟⣫⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡿⠯⠿⢿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠧⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣖⡻⣽⣷⣶⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢟⢻⢸⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣫⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣁⡉⣭⣭⣟⣋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠿⢿⣿⣹⣿⣿⢲⣶⣶⣮⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣣⣤⣴⣮⣿⣿⣿⣏⣀⣂⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⡗⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⡟⣿⣦⣝⢿⣿⣿⣯⡿⣛⣋⠽⠿⣿⠟⣼⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⡇⠝⢿⣿⣷⣤⣙⣿⠿⠿⢿⣛⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⣬⡻⢢⠸⠡⠩⠻⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⡁⠲⣶⣆⢮⡙⡛⢛⣛⣫⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⢟⣼⣿⠟⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⡺⣭⣄⢴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Whale and bee wrestling
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡴⠊⠉⠁⠄⡱⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⢩⢽⡝⠒⠒⡩⢍⣍⠉⠁⠄⢄⣸⠃⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠟⠚⠋⠄⠄⠄⠣⠻⠟⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⣄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣆⠄
⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠢⡀⠄⠄⢧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄
⠄⠉⠑⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⠄⠄⠻⡛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⢖⣲⠒⢦⣀⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇
⠄⠄⠄⣀⣱⣄⣠⠴⠚⢭⡙⠉⠙⠲⣼⡷⠤⠤⣤⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⣇⠄⠸⡇
⠄⠄⢎⢰⣿⠈⠄⠘⢄⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⣇
⠄⢀⠎⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⠄⢨⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡇
⠄⢜⢀⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣾⣿⠇⢀⣼⣿⡿⠄⠈⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⡏
⠄⠘⠢⢄⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠚⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠦⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⡿⠉⠄⠄⣠⠾⢋⡼⠃
⠄⠔⠂⠈⠙⢲⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡏⠄⠄⠄⡡⠤⠶⡋⠁⠄⢸⡇⠄
⠎⠄⡠⠴⠒⠼⣿⣽⣯⣶⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣶⡇⠄⠄⢠⠁⠄⠄⣧⡀⠄⠸⡇⠄
⣀⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⡎⠄⠄⡰⠠⡙⢦⣀⢧⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⢸⠁⠄⠊⠄⣀⠇⠄⠉⠛
Teamfight Tactics
MORB
⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢿⣿⡟⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢻
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠈⡿⠀⠀⣼⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⢀⣾
⣿⣿⣀⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Morbius
Wasting time on Twitch, must be me
No girlfriend ✔️ Among Us player was ejected
twitchquotes:
. 。 • ﾟ 。 . . . 。 。 . . 。 ඞ 。 . • . [Enter name] was ejected. . . 。 . 。 ﾟ . . , . . .
twitch chat
Among Us / Amogus
NA ULT LUL
twitchquotes:
Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
Classic
Overwatch
Twelve days of gachi
twitchquotes:
On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 slaves in bondage 11 Pairs of shackles 10 12-inch dildos 9 boys next door 8 brand new whips 7 hydra dicks 6 hot loads 5 wrestling mats 4 suction masks 3 fisting sessions 2 billy figures And a signed autograph from aniki
twitch chat
Forsen
KappaPride
Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi
Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.
Weebs
Dance party
░░┌──┐░░░░░░░░░░┌──┐░░
░╔╡▐▐╞╝░░┌──┐░░╔╡▐▐╞╝░
░░└╥╥┘░░╚╡▌▌╞╗░░└╥╥┘░░
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░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░ DANCE PARTY
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░╔╡XX╞╝░░┌──┐░░╔╡XX╞╝░
░░└╥╥┘░░╚╡XX╞╗░░└╥╥┘░░
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You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
Rick and Morty
Classic
If the human body is 75% water...
twitchquotes:
If the human body is 75% water, how can you be 100% salt? 
twitch chat
Reynad
salty
Shuffle a Weasel into Twitch Chat
twitchquotes:
ＷＥＡＳＥＬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a ＷＥＡＳＥＬ into twitch chat.
ＷＥＡＳＥＬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a ＷＥＡＳＥＬ into twitch chat.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Nyan Cat
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Nintendo Reggie
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠸⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣠⠠⠄⠄⠸⣽⣿⣷⠄⠄⢀⣴⡆⠄⢀⡀⠄⢀⣤⣔⣿⣆⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⣼⣧⣼⣿⣦⢶⣲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣜⣿⣿⣟⣿⣣⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣾⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣐⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠑⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⡧⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣳⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠏⠍⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿
Scream (Ghostface)
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⠴⠛⠙⣿⣿⡿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⡖⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⡏⠄⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠
⣿⠃⠄⠄⢸⣧⣤⣤⣤⢾⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⢻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⢀⡼⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄HAPPY ⠙⢿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠃⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄HALLOWEEN ⠙
Halloween
I can't fucking believe this. Pink from 'Among Us' ruined my marriage.
I can't fucking believe this. Pink from 'Among Us' ruined my marriage.
A couple months ago, my wife said she was going out for a ladies' night. She asked me to take care of my son, so I immediately obliged. "Yes Ma'am," I told her. After a while of waiting, she finally left and I could play my favourite game, Among Us. I hopped on my laptop, booted it up and my desktop loaded, complete with the 'Red Sus' background and all my Among Us Impostor fan-art. I was shaking in excitement. I slowly dragged my finger across the track pad, and watched the cursor as it glided over to the Among Us icon. Among Us. My absolute favourite game of all time and quite possibly the best and most well-made game in the entire world. As I clicked the button my body twitched with joy at the thought of being the impostor again. My fingers drummed impatiently on my desk as the Innersloth logo faded in, and then out. Then the main title appeared. I immediately looked at pink as she slowly floated across the screen. Oh, how I wish I could feel those luscious, soft asscheeks. Pink is my queen. The real woman in my life. My wife could never be as sexy as Pink is; her soft footfalls in electrical as I peek at her curvy form from inside a vent, waiting for the right time to strike. I could never get close to Pink, however, as if she had some kind of sixth sense, she would always leave before I could reveal myself to her as the impostor. I press Practice, to warm up my fingers before my first intense game of Among Us. I hit Blue in Comms, then cross the hall and vent to Specimen, murdering Green in cold blood. The thrill of killing an animated character in an online game has never been such a rush. I then move towards Reactor, stabbing Yellow in the back and then running down the corridor to the right to access Decontamination. I move quietly through the halls, like a snake about to strike its prey, and I see- Oh no. It's Pink. Standing there motionlessly as I face her directly. Her visor shows no emotion. But she knows. I can feel it in the air. I can't kill her. She is too beautiful, too angelic, the light reflecting off of her pink bodysuit, like stars on a voided sky. She doesn't run. I am moved to tears as I caress the screen, kissing it tenderly. "Goodbye, Pink. See you soon. It will all be okay," I whisper in a soft, reassuring voice. Then as my cursor hovers over the kill button, I hesitate. Thoughts of love go through my head. Red having reddish-pink sus children with Pink. But I have to. As the impostor, it is my duty to kill. I press the 'Kill' button and watch as my character beheads Pink silently. All I hear is the spurt of blood. There is no rush. There is only Red, standing by himself in Fuel. Pink's lifeless body laying on the floor beside him. I feel nothing at first, then immense sadness, like I'm at a loved one's funeral. My son knocks on the door, interrupting my brief moment of mourning. He asks, "Dad? Are you going to make me a snack?" I tell him to shut up, and my voice cracks. I break down sobbing. I killed her. I killed my one true love. God, forgive me. I open the door to my son, and he has a confused look on his face. I say nothing, and walk to the kitchen to make him a sandwich. Tears roll off my face into the bread as I lay it onto the counter. Lettuce, cheese and meat, followed by a sad swirl of mustard on top. My son is quiet. He sits on the couch, and stares at the floor. There is a depressing air around us. I serve him the sandwich and walk back to my room, contemplating life. If I killed Pink, how am I to be trusted around my family? I cry for hours, and finally my wife comes back. She sees me bawling on the bed like a child who dropped his ice cream. She then asks me why I'm crying and mutter, "I killed her. I killed my only love, Pink, in Among Us." She is filled with rage and slaps me across my face. I feel numb. She asks for a divorce. I don't reply. Instead, I take my laptop and get into my car, driving to a nearby hotel. Fast forward a few months to the divorce. It was quick and painless. After court, I ask my former wife to take me back.
"I can't take you back. You've always been this way. I was sus of you from the start."
Edit: Found this on steam, in the Among Us reviews section.
Among Us / Amogus
I love Art of Conquest!
twitchquotes:
My $0.99 starter bundle put me well above the other players. But, when I reached the first enemy castle. I couldn't beat it. I checked the in game shop. "BONUS SILVER TROOPS $4.99 EXPIRES IN 3:14:28" I happily spent $4.99. Shortly after I came across an elite boss I couldnt beat. So I checked the in game shop. "BONUS GOLD TROOPS. 5000 RESOURCES. $19.99 EXPIRES IN 1:05:39" It's about to expire! I quickly entered my credit card and bought the bundle, it was such a steal. I love Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
Kripp