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I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
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More Classic Copypastas
Unsettled Tom
⣿⣷⡶⠚⠉⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤
⠿⠥⢶⡏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⣴⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣍⡛⢷⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣯⠽⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⠿⠿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿
⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣏⡧⠙⠁⣀⢾⣧ ⠈⣿⡟ ⠙⣫⣵⣶⠇⣋
⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⢀⣀⢻⣎⢻⣷⣤⣴⠟ ⣠⣾⣿⢟⣵⡆⢿
⣿⣯⣄⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢀⣤⡙⢿⣴⣿⣷⡉⠉⢀ ⣴⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⡿⢆
⠿⣿⣧⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⠏ ⡔⠉⠉⢻⣦⠻⣿⣿⣶⣾⡟⣼⣿⣿⣱⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿
⣷⣮⣝⣛⣃⡉⣿⡏ ⣾⣧⡀ ⣿⡇⢘⣿⠋ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢧⣴⣘⢿⣿⣶⣾⡿⠁⢠⠿⠁⠜ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣷⣉⡛⠋ ⣰⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⢿⠟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣰⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠿⠿⠿⠛⢰⣾⡿⢟⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Classic
Babe im breaking up with u
twitchquotes:
babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.
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Classic
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes
twitchquotes:
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... 
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Kripp
Classic
Hearthstone
YUGIOH KEEPS INTERRUPTING MY AD MARATHON
twitchquotes:
📞 📞 
HELLO TWITCH? 📞 THIS YUGIOH THINGY 📞 KEEPS INTERRUPTING 📞 MY AD MARATHON 📞
HELLO TWITCH? 📞 THIS YUGIOH THINGY 📞 KEEPS INTERRUPTING 📞 MY AD MARATHON 📞
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TwitchPresents
Classic
YuGiOh Ad Marathon
I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.