twitchquotes:
I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas
Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom
twitchquotes:
"Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Albanian virus
twitchquotes:
Hi, I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me other users. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards, Albanian virus
twitch chat
Classic
I dream of becoming a carrot
twitchquotes:
I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
Classic
Avoid embarrasing incidents
twitchquotes:
Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. 
twitch chat
Classic
What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?
twitchquotes:
What if I... put my Minecraft bed... π³ next to yours... π³ aha ha, just kidding.. π unless.. ? π³
twitch chat