twitchquotes:
I like how [insert streamer name] doesn't realize that all his viewers are me on different accounts. Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Auto-Pay feature
twitchquotes:
Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Classic
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I donβt know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itβs my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iβll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iβll walk around my house and pick up various different βtrinketsβ and put them in my bag while saying stuff like βIβll be having thatβ and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (βtrinketsβ can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iβm 99% sure they donβt know itβs me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
Classic
Confessions
Mario poops mods
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
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ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
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ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββMODSββββββββββββββββββ
MODS
Classic
Rank one is the other way
twitchquotes:
um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way 
um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."