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990 copypastas found.

Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

Hafu is more hardcore than Kripp

twitchquotes: Kripp, I'm disappointed in you. Your chat is out of control and you don't even care. Your veiwers are the most pathetic scum on Twitch. Even worse, Hafu is a more hardcore player than you. Are you even trying anymore? Whatever, I'm going to go watch Reynad or Trump, you useless bag of ***.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Your aunt has a goat in dubarino

twitchquotes: Hello KRIPP. Please stop the ( ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งin your chat. I am from dubai and " ( ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง" means "your aunt has a goat ***" in dubarino
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!!! The fate of Earth depends on YOU! When you ignored chat and didn't place the kitty on your lap and pet it, it lead to a global economic crash and all out nuclear war!! For the love of humanity put the damn kitty in your lap now and pet it like our lives depend on it!!!!! Sincerely , Future Kripp
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's history

twitchquotes: Paparrian was born in Germany, the youngest of the five children (three of whom survived) of Hanz Hector Paparrian, from a noble family of the province of Freiberg. In 1932, he began his medical career in Theodor Meynert's psychiatric clinic at the Trollstein General Hospital. The same year, he married Mamarrian, the granddaughter of Isaac Bernays, a chief rabbi in Hamburg. In the summer of 1935, the couple had a beautiful and gifted child: Kripp. On 15 September 1935, Hitler presented two laws who deprived so-called "non-Aryans" of the benefits of German citizenship. The young parents, extremely afraid for the future of their beautiful child, where confronted to a question that would forever change the fate of the world: was Krip Aryan?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

10 years since kolento strim

twitchquotes: 10 years since kolento strim.i walk through the empty streets trying to think of something else but my path always leads to the stream. i stare at the screen for hours and try to summon the lord. i watch other asian girls streaming but it is no good. i flame trump in his channel and try to resist the nazi mods but it is all meaningless. the end is near.i then usually watch some old kolento vods and cry myself to sleep.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kolento

THIS CHATROOM IS TRULY BLESSED BY ME

twitchquotes: ◟(∗❛ัᴗ❛ั∗)◞I'M THE SPAM-FAIRY AND THIS CHATROOM IS TRULY BLESSED BY ME ◟(∗❛ัᴗ❛ั∗)◞
twitch chat
November 2014
TheRace

Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ in your chat

twitchquotes: Hello KRIPP aka GRIPPARRIAN. Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ in your chat. I am from dubai and "ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ " means "your aunt has a goat ***" in arabic. I am watching with family after my aunt's funeral and we all find this extremely offensive. Will subscribe so you can fist me like a bro when it stops. Please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I need help typing

twitchquotes: i need help typing, im new to the americas and i dont know how to english very well can someone help me? pleasew stop spamming chat so i can learn please....without this i wont pass my english class iand ill get deported please...
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat

twitchquotes: ༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat, at midnight i will celebrate halloween by killing people who didn't Copy pastarino this message. Do it now or you will be dead at 00:00. Copy pastarino NOW or Rip in peperoni's.༼ つ _ ༽つ
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

You know what really bothers me?

twitchquotes: You know what really bothers me? When I walk into a public restroom and find semen and urine all over the seat of the only toilet there. It disgusts me and makes me really uncomfortable. That's how I feel reading this chat. Please no copy pasterino, these are my personal feelings and not to be mocked.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Copy pasta makes you look Italian and vegan

twitchquotes: Remember boys and girls, its not good to copy pasta. It makes you look Italian and vegan and can be detrimental to your health and peers if you display unwanted or annoying text, repetitive chat, and rude/disrespectful words.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight

twitchquotes: Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't whisper me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok). Shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless twitch chat pastas. (Gonna have lots of segz tonight with a real girl).
twitch chat
May 2021

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord 🤖+🤴 Jeff Divorcedzos 💔 Salmonella 🐔 Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🤡 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole 🥒💦 👉👌😳 🥒 Z 🥒 U 🥒 C 🥒 C 🥒 Tim 🍎 Bottom 🅱️ENIS Jack Ma MIA 🤷‍♂️ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods 🙏✝️
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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