[Copypasta] Ebettle

twitchquotes: I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of e-betting website to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ebettle, the best betting website on the internet. Now available for children.
twitch chat
March 2015

sellout

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

This is the world we have wrought

twitchquotes: The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: ███ 10 stroke dick ff ☑ EKT ☾ ☆ ¸. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ HA ʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ ♌ ❛ั∗)◞ TUCK F (◡‿◡✿)". This is the world we have wrought.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

HELLO 911 JAKE IS IN MY ROOM

twitchquotes: 4Head HELLO 911 📞 4Head JAKE IS IN MY ROOM 📞 4Head HE HAS A PULSE BOMB 📞 4Head WHATS THAT? 📞 4Head ILL BE OKAY? 📞 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub

twitchquotes: Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing