[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
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EPICLY TROLLING MY CLASS WITH AMONG US!!!!

So today I trolled my class with Among Us in an epic way. We were doing a test and were putting numbers into the computer to log into the test. It reminded me of Among Us so I shouted, "IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE?!?!" I then pointed at the kid next to me, who was wearing a red shirt, and yelled, "RED SUS! RED SUS! VOTE OUT RED HE'S SUS!" The teacher tried to pull me out of the classroom but I stabbed him with a pencil epic John Wick style! I proceeded to scream, "DEAD BODY REPORTED!" Then they EXPELLED me and it was kind of sus the way they did it. On my way out of the school I saw a vent so I grabbed the nearest kid and shoved him into the vent! I cracked his skull but it was just a joke so it's okay. My therapy starts tomorrow
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked (7-11 diapers)

twitchquotes: I’m telling you, Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kidsβ€œ then he bunny hopped out the door
twitch chat
June 2021
Hiko

Valorant

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a β€œbukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling β€œETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

Ultra EDM dance

twitchquotes: ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›
twitch chat
March 2016
Ultra

i have not been gifted a single sub

twitchquotes: Hey streamer, i just wanted to express my disappointment in your community with this message. I have been a active viewer for the past couple of years and despite my constant effort i have not been gifted a single sub by your community. You should really be ashamed.
twitch chat
February 2020
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