[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
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September 2015
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Peruvians and Dota 2

twitchquotes: Let's look at this statistically. Assuming you are not Peruvian, your team has four chances to spawn a Peruvian. The other team has five chances to spawn a Peruvian. Overall, you will have less Peruvians then your opponents, and will automatically rise on the ladder. If you aren't rising, you are probably secretly a Peruvian, ruining the statistical balance of sweet victory.
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February 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre"

TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre" is a North American team that consistently underperforms in all international tournaments. It is specifically known for having a weak early, mid, and late-game.
February 2022

League of Legends

forsenCD PICK A CARD

twitchquotes: forsenCD PICK A CARD ✨ forsenCD ANY CARD ✨ forsenCD THE 2 OF WIVES? ✨ forsenCD EXCELLENT CHOICE ✨
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November 2019
OfflineTV

BREAKING NEWS

twitchquotes: ＢＲＥＡＫＩＮＧ ＮＥＷＳ： Ａｆｔｅｒ ｂｒｕｔａｌ ａｎａｌ ｆｉｓｔｉｎｇ ｐｅｒｆｏｒｍｅｄ ｂｙ Ｒｏｍａｎｉａｎ ｇｙｐｓｙ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ， Ｓａｎｄｏｗｎ＇ｓ ａｎｕｓ ｈａｄ ａｎ ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎａｌ ｂｒｅａｋｄｏｗｎ ａｎｄ ｃｒｉｅｄ ｆｏｒ ａｔｔｅｎｔｉｏｎ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅａｍ ｏｆ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ．
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November 2014
Kripp

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
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