[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
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September 2015
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Kripp, it's your son Krippunks from the future

twitchquotes: Kripp, it's your son Krippunks from the future. In the year 2020, the Earth is attacked by a series of Hearthstone Bots called RNGdroids 17 and 18. Everyone dies except Reynad and me. He trains me to be a Salt Warrior. You must train to defeat the RNGdroids!
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November 2014
Kripp

Ocean Man

twitchquotes: OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 Take me by the hand βœ‹ lead me to the land that you understand πŸ™Œ 🌊 OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the corner of the 🌎 globe is a real trip πŸ‘Œ 🌊 OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 The crust of a tan man πŸ‘³ imbibed by the sand πŸ‘ Soaking up the πŸ’¦ thirst of the land πŸ’―
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September 2016

Emoji Pasta

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

It's EXAM WEEK

twitchquotes: It's EXAM WEEK 😀😀 and it's TIME ⏱⏱ to WHIP OUT 😯😯 your EDUCATION ERECTIONS πŸŽ’πŸ“šπŸ†πŸ† and FUCK THESE FINALS πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL πŸ‘πŸ“ž your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES 😏😏 and HIT πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘Š the BOOKS πŸ“˜πŸ“—πŸ“™till your BRAIN 🧠🧠 is RUBBED RAW 😫😫 and your PEN πŸ–ŠπŸ–Šis DRY 😡😡. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ and do this THING πŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST 🀀🀀 SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! 😱😱
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December 2019

Emoji Pasta

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