[Copypasta] Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Huntard is confused

twitchquotes: ｈｕｎｔａｒｄ ｉｓ ｃｏｎｆｕｓｅｄ． ｕｎｄｅｒｔａｋｅｒ ｗａｓ ｐｌａｙｅｄ ｔｕｒｎ ｏｎｅ， ｂｕｔ ｏｐｐｏｎｅｎｔ ｌｉｖｅｓ． Ｅｖｅｎ ｇｒｅｅｔｉｎｇｓ ｔｒａｖｅｌｌｅｒ ａｎｄ ｏｖｅｒｐｏｗｅｒｅｄ ｄｏｇｅ ｃａｒｄ ｄｉｄ ｎｏｔ ｗｏｎｎｅｒｅｄ． Ａ ｓｉｎｇｌｅ ｔｅａｒ ｒｏｌｌｓ ｄｏｗｎ ｈｉｓ ｆａｃｅ ａｓ ｈｅ ｃｏｎｃｅｄｅｓ． ｔｉｍｅ ｔｏ ｃｒａｆｔ ｇａｈｚｉｌｌａ．
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Karma from the vegan produce co-op

twitchquotes: Greetings, kripp! Blessings! It's Karma from the vegan produce co-op. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Send me an astral projection, dude. Btw, did you ever find a way to make tofu edible? It's been a big challenge for me hahah. You have such a kind aura. It's so calming to see you again. You have the address for my drum circle. Peace, my fellow
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (“Chat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (“nl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Sparkle the spam away

twitchquotes: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ SPARKLE THE ✿*∗˵╰༼✪ᗜ✪༽╯˵∗*✿ SPAM AWAY (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD

twitchquotes: Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about adjusting your Windows Clock to get ahead on opening Packs. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
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