[Copypasta] Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Eminem Stan lyrics

twitchquotes: Dear kripp, I wrote you but still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's dexter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father. My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you kripp, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Stan P.S. we should be together too
twitch chat
September 2019
Kripp

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game! (Thanks for joining our Conquest Loyalty Rewards Program! Your selected channel is: nl_kripp. The more you post this message in his chat, the bigger your rewards! 1 Post = 10k Gold/Mana/Wood. 5 Posts = 50k Basic Resources + 3x 8 Hour Rush. 40 Posts = 750k Basic Resources + 20k Rare Resources + 21x 8 Hour Rush. Please remove this part before posting or your program will be terminated!)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

It seems you've tarried Mrump

twitchquotes: Do you take Rania to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the priest. Kripp smiles as he slips the ring on her finger. "Yes I do," he says, squinting in the glare of a foggy day. The priest says, "You may kiss the bride." as the crowd cheers. Kripp lifts Rania's veil and recoils in horror. Trump smirks, "It seems you've tarried Mrump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Because it's a cool cat

twitchquotes: CoolCat FORCED CoolCat TO CoolCat SPAM CoolCat THIS CoolCat EMOTE CoolCat BECAUSE CoolCat ITS CoolCat A CoolCat COOL CoolCat CAT CoolCat
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing