[Copypasta] Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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XL Super Sized Monster

twitchquotes: "Oh my God," gasped Raina. That thing is HUGE, its going to make me so wet!. Kripp smirked, "Yup." He began pumping furiously as the pressure built up and his Vegan strength began to dwindle. "Are you ready?" Kripp said cheekily. "I don't know about this, I think we should..." but it was too late. Kripp blasted her point blank, gentlely bruising her skin with a pressure rating well above 2. "Next time you can do me," said Kripp as he put away his XL Super Sized Monster.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Spamming is my passion

twitchquotes: Dᴇᴀʀ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs: Yᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴀɴɴᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ 10 ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs, ʙᴜᴛ sʜɪᴛᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ғɪɴᴅ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇs. I ᴡɪʟʟ RIP ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɴɪ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴘɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ. Sᴏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡᴀsᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʙᴀɴɴɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍɪɴɢ ɪs ᴍʏ ᴘᴀssɪᴏɴ, AND I WILL COME BACK! Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ɴᴀᴢɪʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I've always wanted to be an octopusserino

twitchquotes: ive always wanted to be an octopusserino but everytime i try to tell someone they make fun of me. well ive had it up to here. today is the day i put my tentacles down. im sick and tired of people telling me what i can and cant be. i will be getting surgery to split my legs like pasterinos so i can have tentacles if you copy and pasterino my story to mock me i swear i will ink all over your face!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Grand Dragon Jebodiah Pasterino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is the Grand Dragon of the KKK, Jebodiah Pasterino. I see you're wearing one of our signature white hoods. We at the KKK do not associate with casuals such as yourself. Please remove the hood or we will take legal action.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle

twitchquotes: There is one sign the Kripparrian can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Morosan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Twitch and Youtube, if you seek liberalization, come here to this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, tear down this wall!
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
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