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Hey guys, my monitor isn't working. I have to print out chat in order to read it. The paper and ink are really expensive, so please don't spam! Thank you.
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I used to be a real ad
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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME
twitchquotes:
๐๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐จ๐จ๐THIS IS A ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธALERT. INCOMING ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEME๐ธ ๐๐HEADING STRAIGHT ๐๐YOUR WAY. ๐๐๐๐PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐ง๐ง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธ ๐๐๐ .BUCKLE UPโฟโฟโฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐ฎ๐ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐ต๐ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐
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๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ฌDANK FACTORY.
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Emoji Pasta
Classic
You have been gifted a subscription.
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You have been gifted a subscription. Type !claim to activateโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
You have been gifted a subscription. Type !claim to activateโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
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Classic
48 year man from somalia
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp Aryan, am 48 year man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england.. I selled my wife for internet connection for play "heart of stone" and i want to become the goodest player like you. I play with 400 ping on US server and i am rakn 17. pls no copy pasterino my story
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Kripp
Classic
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory
twitchquotes:
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
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