[Copypasta] Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Hi Kripp, Suda the painting elephant here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Suda the painting elephant here. I thought i could give you a few tips seeing how you appear to be painting at a calf level (that's a baby elephant btw.) Perhaps you could ask your trainer Raina to hand you different colored brushes to make the tree more vibrant? From one herbivore to another I've got to say this is a little depressing, but as long as you keep trying your best I have no doubt you will reach adult animal level painting skills. Happy Painting!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat

twitchquotes: Wow great game!! PogChamp PogChamp (remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Hello Kripp, this is Juan Jose Manuel Torres Esteban Rodriguez Ochoa Martinez Lopez Jr

twitchquotes: нello ĸrιpp, jυan joѕé мanυel тorreѕ eѕтeвan rodrιgυez ocнoa мarтιnez lopez jr. нere. ι no lιĸe yoυr cнaт. pleaѕe ғrιendѕ, no мore ѕpaммerιno ιn cнaтerιno oĸ aмιgo? or elѕe ι нop вorderιno. no cappυccιno.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Troves lump

twitchquotes: So kripp moves closer to trump, whispering nasty things into the air, trump moves away in horror at Kripp's indecency, they both stop for a second and stare into eachothers eyes, kripp finally realises that he troves Lump
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing