[Copypasta] Streamers should eat before they start streaming

twitchquotes: Streamers should eat before they start streaming. Eating while streaming, unless you put other content on and take the camera off you, is extremely bad manners and disgusting. "Streaming is a real job!" It is. But most streamers dont treat it like a real job. Between failing to make schedules, acting in a way that would be considered unprofessional, constantly calling off, etc etc. Content creation can be a real job. But most dont treat it as one.
twitch chat
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Marketing Director for Doritos messages Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀʀᴋᴇᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏs, ᴄʜᴜᴄᴋ ᴏʀᴡᴇʟʟ ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀᴋᴀ ᴄ.ᴏ. ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ. sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ sᴇʟʟᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ! ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇʀᴄɪᴀʟ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴛᴏsɪs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ғʀɪᴛᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ғʀɪᴛᴏʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

NA “Near Airport” Worlds speedrunning

twitchquotes: NA “Near Airport” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport. Since they gave up on the LoL Worlds Championship, they are investing in Speedruns. In particular they are current worldrecord holders in Airport Any % and Airport no wins.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

hasanabi hey man big fan of your wikifeet page

twitchquotes: hasanabi hey man big fan of your wikifeet page. After a thorough review of your gallery I have to admit you have some gorgeous feet. Toe-to-foot ratio is perfect. Toe nails are clean and well taken care of. Big fan of the contrasting tones of the soles and arches. The only bit of criticism I have is that you have no pics in nylon which is unfortunate.
twitch chat
March 2022
HasanAbi

Stuck in Kripp's basement

twitchquotes: |̅|(̅|̅◉̅|̅◡̅|̅◔̅|̅)̅| HELP I'M STUCK IN KRIPP'S BASEMENT |̅|(̅|̅◉̅|̅◡̅|̅◔̅|̅)̅|
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing