[Copypasta] Streamers should eat before they start streaming

twitchquotes: Streamers should eat before they start streaming. Eating while streaming, unless you put other content on and take the camera off you, is extremely bad manners and disgusting. "Streaming is a real job!" It is. But most streamers dont treat it like a real job. Between failing to make schedules, acting in a way that would be considered unprofessional, constantly calling off, etc etc. Content creation can be a real job. But most dont treat it as one.
twitch chat
April 2021
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VI VON ZULUL

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠄⠐⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡘⢦⡀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣦⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⡄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠐⠑⠄⣽⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠈⡀⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⢗⡀⠄⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⠄⠄⠄⣠⡀⡄⠄⠄⢎⣿⡶⢶⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠁⠁⠈⠉⠉⢚⣍⣩⡀⠄⢀⠄⠺⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⢒⡛⡛⠛⠛⢿⡁⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⡄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠉⢉⡉⡉⠁⠄⠁⢠⡎⠄⣀⢰⣿⠁⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⡇⢢⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠁⢠⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⣿⣿ ⣏⢀⠄⠄⢈⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⠛⢛⣟⡛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⢈⠉⠁⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣟⣿
November 2018
Forsen

Hey kids, do you want some dank memes?

twitchquotes: ┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬ HEY KIDS DO YOU WANT SOME DANK MEMES?
twitch chat
May 2015

Classic

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing