[Copypasta] No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks 📊📝 go up 📈💸, my dick goes too 🍆⬆️😳. Bullish 🐂 market 🏬 makes me hard 🦴💦. All the countries 🏳️🏴🏴‍☠️🏁🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇳 try to recover 🔄 from corona 🦠 so the money 💰💵💸 flows 🌬 into my pocket 💳. Soon 🔜 there will be a crash 📉😭🥺😖 and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes 🕳. Then they cut off my greedy dick ✂️🍆🩸 if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out 👅😸. I must turn into a bear 🐂➡️🐻 and make 🤌🏼 more money 💰💵💸 and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done ✅ I’ll throw a party 🎉🍷🍾 and eat your ass 👅🍑.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Inverted Toucan

dlǝɐsǝ pouʇ qɐu˙ ʇux░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░███████▀█░░░░░░░pǝʌᴉɹɹɐ░░░░░░░░ ████████▄▄▄░░░░sɐɥ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░█████████████▐░░░▐░░uɐɔnoʇ░░░░░░░ ░░████████████▐░░░░▐░░░░ǝl░░░░░░░░ ░░░░██████████▐░░░░▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░███████▄░░░░▌░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄▌░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▐░░░░░▌▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▀▄▀█▐░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▌█░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄░░█▄░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀░▀▀▌░███▄▄░░░░▀▄░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌██▀░▐░░░░░░░▀▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄███▄▄▀▀▀▄▄▄░░░░░░░░
June 2019

Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the “Internet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspīeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spīen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spītǒus frivōl thou namest “thine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cǒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pūnīciǒun thine littel “gleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tǒng stille. But thou cǒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. The procedure is popularly known as "Running it down mid". Let me know
twitch chat
January 2020
Tyler1

TSM aka "Terminal Six, Mates"

twitchquotes: TSM aka "Terminal Six, Mates" are the #1 NA team to speedrun airport any %. Their unique team name reflects the terminal their early flight departs from at Beijing International Airport after humiliating losses in Worlds, which helped them secure the world record pace for 2020 airport run.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing