[Copypasta] No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021
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Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
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Wow, You’re an introvert?

twitchquotes: Wow, You’re an introvert? Thats so quirky and hilarious. What a funny socially awkward moment. Damn, you really are a comedy genius. Every time you say you’re an introvert, i burst into uncontrollable laughter. I still cant believe it. Thats super funny man. You mean you would rather sit in the dark on your computer instead of Going outdoors with some friends, getting drunk and Drunk Driving? Wow. Surely you must be the only one like that alive.
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This is a routine PokiW check

twitchquotes: Hello sir. Do you know why I've stopped you? You haven't done anything wrong. This is just a routine PokiW check, sir. May I see your Twitch sub badges and username, please? Thank you. Now let's see that PokiW, hmm? Go ahead, type it in chat. No funny business. Dot the I and capitalize the W. I better not see an emote, son. Or you're off to jail.
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September 2021
Pokimane

OpieOP

twitchquotes: ᴌOpieOPށ ᴌOpieOPށ ᴌOpieOPށ
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GREAT AD OF THE SKY PLEASE HEAR MY CRY

twitchquotes: GREAT AD OF THE SKY PLEASE HEAR MY CRY. TRANSFORM THYSELF FROM AD OF LIGHT AND BRING ME VICTORY IN THIS FIGHT. ENVELOP THE DESERT WITH YOUR GLOW AND CAST YOUR AD UPON MY FOE. UNLOCK YOUR ADS FROM DEEP WITHIN SO THAT TOGETHER WE MAY WIN!!
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YuGiOh Ad Marathon

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