[Copypasta] No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™?

twitchquotes: Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™? PogChamp I love this game! (Paid viewer from the TES:L™ Developers)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019

OhMyDog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠿⢟⣠⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣤⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⡿⠿⢛⣟⠀⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⣷⣤⡀⣀⡀⣀⣴⣿⠀⠀⠘⣵⠀⣼⣏⢰⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣾⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020
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