Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla
December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume.
"Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows.
We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume.
"Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows.
We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheβs humming a song you canβt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. βWhat do you want for Christmas?β You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. βNothing, really.β
βNothing?β She crawls into bed and touches your leg. βAre you sure?β Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyβll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, βWhatβs wrong?β
Stonks only go up.
But you donβt.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheβs humming a song you canβt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. βWhat do you want for Christmas?β You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. βNothing, really.β
βNothing?β She crawls into bed and touches your leg. βAre you sure?β Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyβll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, βWhatβs wrong?β
Stonks only go up.
But you donβt.
I used to be a real ad