twitchquotes:
(◞≼◉ื≽◟ ;益;◞≼◉ื≽◟) ╭∩∩∩∩∩╮ HEY CHAT HERE'S A HIGH FIVE FOR YOU (◞≼◉ื≽◟ ;益;◞≼◉ื≽◟) ╭∩∩∩∩∩╮
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
im dropping my uwus all over the place
My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high
twitchquotes:
My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
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Professional headmeat physician
twitchquotes:
ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
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Tyler1
Kripp Jr
twitchquotes:
The year is 2020 Kripp is playing Hearthstone with his son Kripp Jr. "Looks like you lose Daddy hehe, but I still love you!", he says topdeckingly... "Oh my *** god dude thats *** unreal, how can I lose to people this bad", Kripp spits coldly with hate in his eyes. Kripp Jr. begins to cry....
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Kripp
She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high
until they're rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em
Hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well!
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore.