[Copypasta] I once had sleep paralysis

twitchquotes: i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

We wish you a Merry Krippmas

twitchquotes: ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Military intervention on the territory of Kripparrian chat

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTHIS IS MILITARY INTERVENTION ON THE TERRITORY OF KRIPPARRIAN CHAT, WE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT RUSSIANS IN THIS CHAT!! WE TAKING 1/3 OF THE CHAT OVER ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Cybrix's voice

twitchquotes: Ｄｅａｒ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｂｅｅｎ ｓｅｖｅｒｅｌｙ ｄｅｐｒｅｓｓｅｄ ｏｖｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｌａｓｔ ｍｏｎｔｈ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｃｏｎｔｅｍｐｌａｔｅｄ ｓｕｉｃｉｄｅ． Ａｆｔｅｒ ｈｅａｒｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ， Ｉ ｎｏｗ ｒｅａｌｉｚｅ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｌｅｆｔ ｔｏ ｌｉｖｅ ｆｏｒ ａｎｄ ｗｉｌｌ ｋｉｌｌ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｔｈｉｓ ｗｅｅｋ．．．． Ｔｈａｎｋｓ ｆｏｒ ｍａｋｉｎｇ ｍｙ ｄｅｃｉｓｉｏｎ ｓｏ ｅａｓｙ OpieOP
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp
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