[Copypasta] I once had sleep paralysis

twitchquotes: i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Minion Masters turned my life around

twitchquotes: I was sat in my car with the exhaust connected to the window, waiting to die, until I saw an ad on my phone for Minion Masters, at that moment I turned the engine off and decided to turn my life around. Now I have a 12 inch cock and 3 ferraris, and all it took was the $149.99 package (best value).
twitch chat
March 2019
Kripp

sellout

krippO

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
August 2016
Kripp

Pizza anytime

twitchquotes: แ••( แ› )แ•— แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€แด€แด€แด€. แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ แดแดส€ษดษชษดษข แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ แด‡แด แด‡ษดษชษดษข แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ แด€แด› sแดœแด˜แด˜แด‡ส€แด›ษชแดแด‡. แดกสœแด‡ษด แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€s แดษด แด€ ส™แด€ษขแด‡สŸ, สแดแดœ แด„แด€ษด แด‡แด€แด› แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ แด€ษดสแด›ษชแดแด‡ แ••( แ› )แ•—
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp is a god at these types of games

twitchquotes: All you people saying this game is easy, I guarantee if you played this or watched any other streamer play this, you would still be bronze and struggling. Kripp is a god at these types of games, he could reach diamond his first day if he wanted to. Kripp understands games on a level we can't even imagine to be possible. His mechanics are impeccable. With his theory crafting, his builds today will be the future meta. It is amazing we get to live in a time with the king of games.
twitch chat
November 2017
Kripp
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