[Copypasta] Peter Pistachio

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Pᴇᴛᴇʀ Pɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʟᴅ ʜɪɢʜ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴛᴇᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ. Cᴏᴀᴄʜ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. Iғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏᴏᴛʙᴀʟʟ ғɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜs ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪᴛ's ᴛᴏ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘʟᴀʏ Hᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ 100% ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sʟɪᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs. Mᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ғɪᴠᴇs ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Rᴀɪɴᴀɴᴀ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ sᴛᴇᴀʟᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity

twitchquotes: I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™?

twitchquotes: Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™? PogChamp I love this game! (Paid viewer from the TES:L™ Developers)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

Kripp will never, ever click the button

twitchquotes: Kripp will never, ever click the button. The expansions will release at a faster rate than he can collect dust. Much like the contents of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, the button is merely a carrot Kripp dangles in front of his viewers without any intention of actually delivering. This is blatantly obvious - he even admits he doesn't bother to calculate because he knows he'll never click it. We will spam this pasta until the button has been clicked.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Dear Kripparian, how dare you

twitchquotes: Dear Kripparian, how dare you... I have dedicated my life to Hearthstone. I am a proud Hearthstoner and so are the rest of your fans. You cannot betray us and start playing a Hearthstone competitor. I can fall asleep to your HS streams because of how casual it is, but this game is too complicated and it keeps me awake. If you betray us we will rise up, you have been warned.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hello Kripp, it's me Timothy

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ᴍᴇ, ᴛɪᴍᴏᴛʜʏ. ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴍᴇ? ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʟʟʏ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ . ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇғᴇɴᴅ ᴍʏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀ** (ง'̀-'́)ง
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
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