[Copypasta] My 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe"

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, mom here, my 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe". I dont know what that is, but a quick Google search shows Kripp subscribers are linked with NaCL overdose disorder. Can you explain this? - Sincerely, a concerned parent
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

salty

I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Give me a second guys, Dex says

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Dex says. "Gotta hit up the mailman" He turns down the volume on his bork, and immediately gives Kripp a swift kick down the stairs. As Kripp yelps loudly in pain, Dex overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this delivery!" as loudly as he can. Fey tries to calm him down, but Dex swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Dex wipes the blood off of his snout, sits back down at his ball, and resumes being a good doggy
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp

Too salty for table salt

twitchquotes: Kripp, when you have dinner with Reynad, do you even need table salt?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Eminem Stan lyrics

twitchquotes: Dear kripp, I wrote you but still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's dexter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father. My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you kripp, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Stan P.S. we should be together too
twitch chat
September 2019
Kripp

My mobile phone gets hot if you spam

twitchquotes: pls don't spam. i'm watching on my mobile phone and it gets very hot if you spam so my hands get burned. if you don't want my hands to get burned stop spamming pls
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing