I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas
Elder Scrolls developer messages Kripp
twitchquotes:
(The Elder Scrolls: Legends™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your TES:L shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel. 
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges
twitchquotes:
Ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｉｔｓ Ｓｔａｖｒｏｓ ｔｈｅ Ｆｒｕｉｔ Ｓｅｌｌｅｒ ｆｒｏｍ the bazaar． Ｉ＇ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｂｕｔ ｙｏｕ＇ｖｅ ｄｒａｉｎｅｄ Ｇｒｅｅｃｅ＇ｓ ｅｎｔｉｒｅ ｓｕｐｐｌｙ ｏｆ Ｏｒａｎｇｅｓ． Ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｒｉｏｔｉｎｇ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ ｗｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅ ｙｏｕ ｔｏ ｈｉｄｅ ａｎｙ ＯＪ ｓｕｐｐｌｙ ｙｏｕ ｍｉｇｈｔ ｈａｖｅ ｌｅｆｔ． Ｗｅ ｃａｎ ｎｏｗ ｏｎｌｙ ｓｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ Ｏｌｉｖｅ Ｊｕｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｏｄｄ ｊａｒ ｏｆ Ｔｚａｔｚｉｋｉ． Ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｎｏ ｇｙｒｏ ｏｕｚｏ
twitch chat
Kripp
Dex sits in a huge doghouse
twitchquotes:
A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
twitch chat
Kripp
Romanian Salt Baron
twitchquotes:
POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
Kripp
Now I am nolife
twitchquotes:
▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ -═══════ι▬▬
twitch chat
Kripp