[Copypasta] Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day

twitchquotes: Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day. Still waiting for you to pick up me and Cattarian from the "Foster Care" fun park that you left us at a few months ago. Tell Motherania that we miss her too. If you dont pick us up soon we'll be forced to work in the salt mines. Love, Kripp Jr
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp likes his relationships the way he likes games, casual

twitchquotes: 'Pls,' says the Rania, begging Kripp to propose to her. 'My family will be forevr shamed if we no marry.' But the Kripparrian doesn't respond. Instead, he continues playing hearth of stone, the game of casuals. He is too afraid of commitment in a hardcore relationship. Because in the end, the Kripparrian likes his relationships the way he likes his games—casual.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Mad Bomber Diary

twitchquotes: Mad Bomber Diary 11/11/14: Dear Diary, Kripp has played me 200th time today, he always keeps me for his greediest plays like I'm one of his prosterinos. I shall take this torment no more, I demand that he coins me out on an empty board like an honest minion from now on. Pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

When Tim Hortons... all becoming Canada

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｔｉｍ ｈｏｒｔｏｎｓ， ｍｙ　ｈａｎｄ　ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｍａｐｌｅ ｇｌａzｅｄ． ｉ ｄｉｐ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｕｇｈｎｕｔｅｒｉｎｏｓ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｅｘ　ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｈｏｃｋｅｙ， ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｃａｎａｄａ　ｅｈ? 　ｓｏｒｒｙ
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

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