Hello Kripp, Cattarian here. Since I'm dead, my new family bought me sunglasses and propped me up like in that movie Weekend At Bernie's. How you doing in Canadaland? Playing Grindstone? Been lucky? Not dead like me? Say hello to Rania from me. 
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More Kripp Copypastas
I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis
twitchquotes:
You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
Kripp
We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
Kripp
Please say you're sorry
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp, I am a 14 year old boy from Canada. I played you today in arena and I won, I was excited to beat a famous player like you! I opened your stream, and I felt bad because you said I played badly and won because of luck. Please say you're sorry or I'll never play Hearthstone again. Please no copy pasterino 10th graderino
twitch chat
Kripp
Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf. We're sorry to say we have to terminate your sponsor contract due to the fact that you consistently keep losing, even though you're using decks drafted through the HearthArena app. You are simply bringing us too much unneeded bad reputation, so we figure we'd just channel the funds we spend on you on a better player like Amaz. Sorry for this, and good luck in the future.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup. I don't appreciate the excessive amount of brofisting you've been doing to my son's rectum. When he sleeps at night all he can dream about is you welcoming him to the "5 dolla club" as you tear his anus apart and cause it to profusely bleed with your fist and it's all your fault that he's so butthurt!
twitch chat
Kripp