[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

Reynad keeps escaped walruses from the local zoo

twitchquotes: Wแด‡สŸสŸ แดแด‡แด› Rแด‡สษดแด€แด…! I แด€แด Dแด€ษด GแดœสŸ, แดแดกษดแด‡ส€ แดา“ แด›สœแด‡ สŸแดแด„แด€สŸ แดขแดแด. WสœษชสŸแด‡ แดกแด€แด›แด„สœษชษดษข สแดแดœส€ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แด แดกแด‡ ษดแดแด›ษชแด„แด‡แด… sแดแดแด‡ แด…ษชsแด›แดœส€ส™ษชษดษข sแดแดœษดแด…s แด„แดแดษชษดษข า“ส€แดแด สแดแดœส€ แดษชแด„ แด›สœแด€แด› แดกแด‡ ส™แด‡สŸษชแด‡แด แด‡ แด›แด ส™แด‡ sแดแดแด‡ ส€แด‡แด„แด‡ษดแด›สŸส แด‡sแด„แด€แด˜แด‡แด… แดกแด€สŸส€แดœsแด‡s. Iา“ สแดแดœ แด…แด ษดแดแด› ส€แด‡แด›แดœส€ษด แดแดœส€ แดกแด€สŸส€แดœsแด‡s แดกษชแด›สœษชษด 24 สœแดแดœส€s, แดกแด‡ แดกษชสŸสŸ สœแด€แด แด‡ Tแดกษชแด›แด„สœ sสœแดœแด› แด…แดแดกษด สแดแดœส€ แด„สœแด€ษดษดแด‡สŸ. I'แด ส™แด€ษชแด›ษชษดษข สแดแดœ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Nyan Cat

________โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„______ _______โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ_____ _______โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„_ __โ–„โ–„___โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ_ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„_ _โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ_ _____โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ ______โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–€_ ____โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€___ ____โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€_โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€_______โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€_โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ_____
ascii art
November 2014

Hey chat. Please refrain from talking

twitchquotes: Hey chat. Please refrain from talking as I am a new guy here & I wanted to talk to the streamer 1 on 1... thanks guys for listening
twitch chat
April 2018
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing