[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Kripp ignores chat draft

twitchquotes: As a young boy, Kripp lived with his family in a chateau in Romania. Kripp had a younger sister who was born frail and prone to illness. The family always took special care to make sure she was never too cold or hot. One day Kripp's parents were late and told Kripp to put his sister to bed. Kripp accidentally left the window of the chateau open, his sister contracted pneumonia and died. At the funeral, his father sobbed and said "My son, why did you ignore the chat draft?"
twitch chat
November 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Ban Hammer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢃⣴⣿⣇⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣄⠨⣍⡀⠙⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⣿⡈⣉⠛⢷⣌⣻⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢃⣴⠿⢋⣉⠻⢧⡈⢴⣦⣾⠟⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡘⢿⣷⣌⠁⣶⢌⣿⣾⠟⢡⣶⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣤⣾⠟⣡⣶⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⣉⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡙⢿⣷⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢁⣴⣦⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠛⢋⣴
ascii art
December 2019

Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle

twitchquotes: Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, it’s a lifestyle 💫 a reason to breathe 🤲 an escape from this evil world filled with thieves 🌏 It’s art 🖼 the first gift you open on Xmas 🎁 a hug from a loved one 🤗 everything you’ve ever wanted love 💗 everything you need 💕🥺
twitch chat
August 2020
Pokimane

Simps

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

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