[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
I used to be a real ad
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Kripparrian has ripped in the aether

twitchquotes: Today, November 25, 2014 marks the day that kripparrian has ripped into the aether. He was hit in the head by a Riot Gas thrown by Ferguson Police all the way from US. Please join me as we all fist ourselves without Lube in his remembrance BibleThump
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November 2014
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Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle

twitchquotes: Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, it’s a lifestyle 💫 a reason to breathe 🤲 an escape from this evil world filled with thieves 🌏 It’s art 🖼 the first gift you open on Xmas 🎁 a hug from a loved one 🤗 everything you’ve ever wanted love 💗 everything you need 💕🥺
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Tyler1 6 foot 5

twitchquotes: @loltyler1 hi man it was cool to meet you in Las Vegas. I had to get my drivers license update from 6 foot 1 to 7 foot 1 after meeting you because you’re 6 foot 5 and I didn’t realize I had my height so wrong. Again thanks for chatting, it was cool to meet you :)
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December 2018
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Dyrus in Jail

twitchquotes: Hello it is me Dyrus, from jail. This article was super superino I loved it as much as I love coach wukong. I hope this comment will make people help me get out of jailerino. Phant0mlord is always loud as a ziggs on cocoon and dexter breath smells like weederino. Pls no copy pasterino
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April 2014
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The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021
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