[Copypasta] A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
What happened to this ad? :(
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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

League of Lesbians

twitchquotes: Once upon a time, I opened a LoL game. I entered the game, and I was promptly greeted by another player. I noticed it was a female player and I was pleasantly surprised. I told her of my great love for the female anatomy, particularly the breasts and the backside. To my surprise, she told me she also enjoyed these things. It was then that I realised, I was playing League of Lesbians.....
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

How will this affect my propain?

twitchquotes: hey reynad, gril here, i am sad to say that i have a leak, how will this affect my propain?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

You just entered a world of hurt

twitchquotes: Hey you mothef**ker. You just entered a world of hurt. I just found my wifes texts to 'The Kripp', talking about dongers, topdicks, and salt. I don't know what kind of fetish *** you're into but you better find it somewhere else. I'm coming for you. If any of you retards copy paste this I'll get you too.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

have you ever had a dream like this?

have you πŸ‘‰πŸΏ ever 😠 had a dreams πŸ˜΄πŸ’­- thats βœ”- that you πŸ‘‰πŸ»πŸ‘€ uhm 😀 you πŸ‘ˆ had you πŸ‘ˆ- you πŸ‘ˆ could- you πŸ‘ˆ do what you πŸ‘‰ want 😍- you πŸ‘ˆ could do- so you πŸ‘ˆπŸ‘¦- you πŸ‘ˆ do- you πŸ‘ˆ could do you πŸ€–πŸ‘ˆ- you πŸ‘ΈπŸ‘‰ wan πŸ”‘- you πŸ‘ΈπŸ‘‰ want πŸ˜‹ him πŸ‘΄ to do so much πŸ”₯ that you πŸ‘‰ could do anything πŸ’°?
April 2021

Emoji Pasta

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