[Copypasta] Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian. Its Becky from the Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department. Although "E-Sports" has indeed become mainstream, we unfortunately have declined your application to be on an episode of Sesame Street. We have already filmed the episode where "K" is the letter of the day. Thank you for your interest.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Cybrix's voice

twitchquotes: Ｄｅａｒ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｂｅｅｎ ｓｅｖｅｒｅｌｙ ｄｅｐｒｅｓｓｅｄ ｏｖｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｌａｓｔ ｍｏｎｔｈ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｃｏｎｔｅｍｐｌａｔｅｄ ｓｕｉｃｉｄｅ． Ａｆｔｅｒ ｈｅａｒｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ， Ｉ ｎｏｗ ｒｅａｌｉｚｅ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｌｅｆｔ ｔｏ ｌｉｖｅ ｆｏｒ ａｎｄ ｗｉｌｌ ｋｉｌｌ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｔｈｉｓ ｗｅｅｋ．．．． Ｔｈａｎｋｓ ｆｏｒ ｍａｋｉｎｇ ｍｙ ｄｅｃｉｓｉｏｎ ｓｏ ｅａｓｙ OpieOP
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Give me a second guys, Dex says

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Dex says. "Gotta hit up the mailman" He turns down the volume on his bork, and immediately gives Kripp a swift kick down the stairs. As Kripp yelps loudly in pain, Dex overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this delivery!" as loudly as he can. Fey tries to calm him down, but Dex swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Dex wipes the blood off of his snout, sits back down at his ball, and resumes being a good doggy
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp

Hi Kripp, Google again here

twitchquotes: Kripp, Google again here. We've noticed that you've been away from Twitch for at least 2 minutes in the past. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still the merchandise? We're serious about raising the price if it's a problem to you. We just want you to have fun, and to of course buy more Twitch merchandise. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you (mostly us) much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbots

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp this is Pornhub LLC

twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing