[Copypasta] Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Jared thought he was back with the crew

twitchquotes: Jared, jumping for joy at the site of an easy victory with QT thought he was back with the crew. Little did he know QT was devising a cunning plan to demote Jared back to Diamond 3. Boom, like a shot in the dark, an instant 4 man surrender stole the wind right out of Jared. Jared glanced over to his 9mm, knowing one day he will have his chance to right these wrongs.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

HEY ADVERTISERS YOU'RE ONLY PROMOTING TO ONE PERSON

twitchquotes: Jebaited HEY ADVERTISERS Jebaited YOU'RE ONLY PROMOTING TO ONE PERSON Jebaited NEED PROOF? Jebaited I'LL POST THIS ON MY OTHER ACCOUNTS Jebaited
twitch chat
November 2017
TwitchPresents

YuGiOh Ad Marathon

VisLaud

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⡤⢶⣿⣻⣶⣏⡟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣧⣾⣵⠾⠟⠋⢉⣉⣉⣉⣀⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠿⣷⣤⠄ ⠄⣸⡿⠿⠋⢹⠉⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠗ ⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠃⠄⢠⣄⣤⣤⣶⡾⠉⣉⠄⠄ ⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⣴⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣯⡁⠈⠙⡟⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄ ⠸⣷⡆⢀⣤⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⡿⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠃⠙⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠺⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡐⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⣀⣀⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2019

Hunter's mark face

twitchquotes: Wtf are you doing, just hunter's mark face and kill him?! FailFish
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing