[Copypasta] Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016
I used to be a real ad
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OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP

twitchquotes: (\ ( Ν Β° ΝŸΩ„Νœ Ν‘Β°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( Ν Β° ΝŸΩ„Νœ Ν‘Β°) /)
twitch chat
May 2015
imaqtpie

Peeping from behind wall

β”»β”³| β”»β”³| β”³β”»| β”³β”»| β”»β”³| β”»β”³| β”³β”»| β”³β”»| β”»β”³| β”³β”»| β”»β”³| β”³β”»| _ β”»β”³| β€’.β€’) [insert text here] β”³β”»|βŠ‚οΎ‰ β”»β”³|
ascii art
October 2021

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

Just dropped down to say, I forgor

β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬.β—™.β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬ β–‚β–„β–„β–“β–„β–„β–‚ β—’β—€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β—’β—€ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€ ╬ β—₯ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β—€ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ I forgor ╬═╬ πŸ’€/ ╬═╬ /β–Œ ╬═╬ / \
ascii art
October 2021

I forgor

100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY

twitchquotes: (ʘ͑ Κ–Νœ ʘ͑ ΰΈ‡) I AM EUROFAG. I have a 100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (ʘ͑ Κ–Νœ ʘ͑ ΰΈ‡)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

EU vs NA

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