[Copypasta] Impossible to be happy and sad at the same time

twitchquotes: haHAA they say it's impossible to be happy & sad at the same time haHAA My wife told me i have the biggest d*ck out of all my brothers haHAA
twitch chat
October 2016
I used to be a real ad
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Such exquisite entertainment 🍷

twitchquotes: FeelsOkayMan 🍷 Such exquisite entertainment certainly would not be complete without some full blown ass-blasting gachimuchi, wouldn't you agree, Mr Fors?
twitch chat
July 2019
Forsen

KappaPride

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Boss of this gym

twitchquotes: Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down. Fuck↗You↘ Oh, Fuck♂You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough. Oh yea? I'll kick your ass! Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that leather stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say? Yeah, no problem buddy! You got it. Get out of that uh, jabroni outfit. Yeah, smart ass. I'll show you who's the boss of this gym.
twitch chat
July 2020

KappaPride

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