[Copypasta] You've gotten too popular too fast

twitchquotes: gachiGASM =/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿ monkaS You've gotten too popular too fast. There's only room for one emoticon in this chat
twitch chat
February 2017

Classic

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Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

As a teemo main at a respectably high elo

twitchquotes: As a teemo main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn teemo PM me (im gold 3 24lp) I also do coaching
twitch chat
April 2018

Classic

League of Legends

Hey Doublelift, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco

twitchquotes: HEY DOUBLELIFT, I’M TRYING TO LEARN TO PLAY SHACO. I JUST HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE SKILL BUILD: SHOULD I MAX BACKSTAB LIKE YOU BACKSTABBED CLG, DECEIVE LIKE YOU DECEIVED CLG, OR HALLUCINATE LIKE YOU MADE CLG HALLUCINATE ABOUT HAVING A CHANCE AT WINNING ANOTHER TOURNAMENT
twitch chat
November 2015
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

Unsettled Tom

⣿⣷⡶⠚⠉⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤ ⠿⠥⢶⡏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⣴⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣍⡛⢷⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣯⠽⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⠿⠿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣏⡧⠙⠁⣀⢾⣧    ⠈⣿⡟  ⠙⣫⣵⣶⠇⣋ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⢀⣀⢻⣎⢻⣷⣤⣴⠟  ⣠⣾⣿⢟⣵⡆⢿ ⣿⣯⣄⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢀⣤⡙⢿⣴⣿⣷⡉⠉⢀  ⣴⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⡿⢆ ⠿⣿⣧⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⠏  ⡔⠉⠉⢻⣦⠻⣿⣿⣶⣾⡟⣼⣿⣿⣱⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿ ⣷⣮⣝⣛⣃⡉⣿⡏  ⣾⣧⡀    ⣿⡇⢘⣿⠋    ⠻⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢧⣴⣘⢿⣿⣶⣾⡿⠁⢠⠿⠁⠜    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣷⣉⡛⠋    ⣰⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⢿⠟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣰⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠿⠿⠿⠛⢰⣾⡿⢟⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing