[Copypasta] Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad

twitchquotes: NerfRedBlaster Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! NerfBlueBlaster The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. NerfRedBlaster Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. NerfBlueBlaster Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere. NerfRedBlaster
twitch chat
February 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

If Morbius has a million fans, I am one of them

If Morbius has a million fans, I am one of them. If Morbius has ten fans, I am one of them. If Morbius has no fans, that means I am no more on the earth. If the World is against Morbius, I am against the World. I love Morbius till my last breath.
July 2022

Morbius

HotPokket

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠎⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡲⣄⢄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣷⢦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠆⣜⣵⣶⣦⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣦⡀⡂⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⡟⣰⣛⢁⡤⠭⡛⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠾⣿⣿⣶⡔⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢺⠿⣰⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣩⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⡛⠻⠷⣿⣿⣿⣗⢲ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⢸⣏⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠸⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠈ ⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⣼⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣻⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡆⣻⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡿⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⡿⡇⣿⢹⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣑⣿⣿⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⠃⠄⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠠⡀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠠⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
December 2018

Take my energy Kripp

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ MorphinTime TAKE MY ENERGY KRIPP ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ MorphinTime
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
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