[Copypasta] Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad

twitchquotes: NerfRedBlaster Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! NerfBlueBlaster The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. NerfRedBlaster Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. NerfBlueBlaster Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere. NerfRedBlaster
twitch chat
February 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hosty and Amaz

twitchquotes: "Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
January 2015
Amaz

I'm epic gamer style

twitchquotes: Yeah Iโ€™m not surprised your girl wants to leave you for me. Not my fault Iโ€™m fucking epic gamer style. Why wouldnโ€™t she wanna be with me lol I have a 3.2 kd in Fortnite, backseat game in Twitch chats, and I reddit hard as fuck. Sorry for being too dope
twitch chat
May 2019

Mario

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
November 2014

The LGBTQ future

twitchquotes: The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat
July 2020

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

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