[Copypasta] Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name

twitchquotes: Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name. Thy Bad RNG come. Thy topdecks be done. On Arena as it is in Ranked. Give us this day our daily rant. And forgive us our button presses as we forgive those who don't press theirs against us. For thine is the never lucky. The bullsh*t RNG. Forever and ever. Ameno.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
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Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros"

twitchquotes: Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros", I know it's time. I full screen the stream and grab my vaseline. I apply a huge load onto my newly shaved butthole and rub it all around nice and even. And then, when kripp says "thanks, and welcome to the 5 dollar club", I place my butthole in front of the screen. It is in that moment, that kripp fists me. I moan with pleasure. I'm one with the kripp
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

Kripp meets Gordon Ramsay

twitchquotes: Kripp meets Gordan Ramsay behind the kitchen, gently caressing his body, he mutters "hey say that word again, and say it like you mean it" "ORE-GAHHHNO" Ramsey softly whispers into kripps ear, as he gets chills throughout his body "oh you know i love it when you say that, now give me my daily dose of OMEEGA 3" as Ramsey inserts his sausage into kripps prepared packag
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Kripp discovered one weird trick to look twice his age

twitchquotes: Kripp is the remarkable twenty year old that discovered one weird trick to look twice his age. It's called being VEGAN and it limits your body’s nutritional intake and makes you look and feel TWICE AS OLD. Why would anyone want to be vegan you may ask, well all vegans hate animals so they eat all the animals food so that they starve to death.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD

twitchquotes: Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about adjusting your Windows Clock to get ahead on opening Packs. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
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