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Putin had a private screening of Morbius
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
Morbius
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I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr. Octavian Morosan. I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA. Recent reports say that you are playing a children's card game and spilling 
everywhere. The is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
everywhere. The is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
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Kripp
salty
This scallywag's deck be kookoo bananas!
twitchquotes:
୧༼ಠ益▀ ༽୨ “This scallywag's deck be kookoo bananas!” ☑ “Me deck can nae scourge tis deck!” ☑ “This swab needed precisely them cards to send me deck to Davey Jones’ locker.” ☑ “He top-pillaged th' only card on the high seas that could best me.” ☑ “Thar was naught I could do.” ☑ “I weathered that perfectly” ☑ ୧༼ಠ益▀ ༽୨
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