[Copypasta] Kappa salute

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Kripp and his tiny peckerwood

twitchquotes: Omg Kripp... I remember seeing you in the hallways during school. I remember seeing your zipper down and I kept eyeing you tiny peckerwood. You always had the cutest grin. Please call me (205-069-1337) and find me. I will always love you. ~Eddy Pepperino (not wearing any panties atm).
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front

twitchquotes: Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
twitch chat
February 2020

KappaPride

Listen up chat. I'm done with your shenanigans

twitchquotes: Okay, listen up chat. I'm done with your shenanigans. I try day in and day out to spam dank ass memes, and what do I get in return? Just the same old, unoriginal spam from you parrots. Chat is filled with just lul xD and 12 year olds cringing. I'm done. I'm out. And I swear to god, don't even think about copying this message
twitch chat
January 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

BibleThump

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May 2020

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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