[Copypasta] Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019

Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

Now I have to mod this chat?

twitchquotes: chat, I was in the middle of curling a 75lb dumbbell and climbing into my ferrari when I noticed you guys spamming dogshit in chat. I was about to go hangout with one of my 4 smoking hot gfs and now I have to mod this chat? Pathetic
twitch chat
August 2020

MODS

Globglogabgalab

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ascii art
September 2021

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and I, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.
May 2021

Simps

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