[Copypasta] Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017
I used to be a real ad
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All is then right with the world

twitchquotes: Maybe his long Journey away from the evil drug that is Hearthstone has brought moral clarity to his life. Kripp rises up and breaks away from the shackles the succubus has locked Kripp in. Papaparrian holds the key and sets Kripp's mind free. He swears to never go back to Greece or play Hearthstone ever again. Kripp moves back in with Papa and finally gets his OJ sponsorship. The beautifully creamy wall is vibrant as Kripp uploads his newest video in the old wonderland. "Hey guys how's it going, Kripparian here." Kripp starts up PoE again in anticipation of the new expansion being released, theory crafting builds. He is happy and filled with life each day of streaming. All is then right with the world.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Fairy tale of Reynard and Lea

twitchquotes: Let me tell you the fairy tale of Reynard and Lea. Once there was a magical salt-shaker named Reynard. He lived in a magical kitchen where the princess Lea would make sandwiches. One day Lea shook Reynard too hard and he broke, spilling salt everywhere. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

A spare I guess

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I bought two bundles of asparagus today. I only needed one but the other can be 'a spare i guess'.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

EU WHY SO QUIET?

twitchquotes: LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL EU WHY SO QUIET? LUL
twitch chat
November 2018

EU vs NA

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