[Copypasta] in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl

twitchquotes: in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl "deine mutter lutscht schwΓ€nze in der hΓΆlle" it means your smile brightens my day :) Please no copy pasta
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Tips n Tricks to feeding

twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie! I'm gonna be doing some volunteering next week at a Food Bank and was wondering if you could play a fatty Yasuo game to teach me the Tips n Tricks to feeding! Thanks in advance and God bless
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Salty tofu

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

NORMIES OUT

twitchquotes: PunOko πŸ‘‰ πŸšͺ NORMIES OUT PunOko πŸ‘‰ πŸšͺ NORMIES OUT PunOko πŸ‘‰ πŸšͺ NORMIES OUT PunOko πŸ‘‰ πŸšͺ NORMIES OUT PunOko πŸ‘‰ πŸšͺ NORMIES OUT PunOko πŸ‘‰ πŸšͺ NORMIES OUT PunOko πŸ‘‰ πŸšͺ NORMIES OUT PunOko
twitch chat
April 2017

Weebs

RNGesus who art in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: RNGesus who art in Hearthstone, Random be thy game. Thy random come, Thy turn be done, on Azeroth as it is in Hearthstone. Give us this day our daily quest, and forgive us our misplays, as we forgive those who queue as hunter and lead us not into fatigue but deliver us from zero. For thine is the random, and the mulligan, and the topdeck, always yet never, Ameno.ο»Ώ
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing