[Copypasta] My son got kicked out of school

twitchquotes: My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers

twitchquotes: OMG this guy is so wrong. As a longtime sub and donator, I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers. When I send them donos they thank me personally on stream so I'm pretty sure they know who I am haha
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

NA COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: NA COMING THROUGH ♿ GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE ♿ 10 IQ PRESIDENT ♿ GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT ♿ WALL ♿ THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR ♿ NA EDUCATION ♿ GOVERNMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN
twitch chat
February 2019

EU vs NA

Peeping from behind wall

┻┳| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| _ ┻┳| •.•) [insert text here] ┳┻|⊂ノ ┻┳|
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing