twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza
The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
Anime ass
French word for grape is raisin
twitchquotes:
you know whats strange about english, you guys have a word for dried grapes: raisins. but the strange thing is that in french the word grape is litteraly raisin, but we dont have a word for dried ones, we just say dried grapes but in French so raisin sec BUT THATS NOT EVEN THE THE CRAZY PART because do you know what we call a bunch of grape together? a GRAPPE so a bunch of grape in french is Grappe de raisins 
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Boomer anthem
twitchquotes:
Please😳 rise 😎 for the 🤨 national 🏁 anthem 🎶 of boomers 🤪
🎺🎺🎺
Video Games 🎮 cause violence 😡👊🏼,
Phone 📱 bad 👎, book 📚 good 👍
I hate 😒 my wife 👰
Pause ⏸️ the Fortnite 🥇 please 😤
Funny 🤣 Facebook 😜 minion 🤭 memes 🤪
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Emoji Pasta
My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom
My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep.
I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed.
What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.