twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
"Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!"
twitchquotes:
"Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!" screams Kripp at the struggling mobile game dev who's game he is being sponsored to play. "How am I supposed to hit rank 1 without a massive head-start over everyone else!? I have to be able to brag to my chat about being #1 in every game I play!" The developer, scared, gives in to his demands. Business as usual for the Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
FailFish
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⡉⠈⠙⠛⠋⢉⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣭⣴⣶⣾⡛⡶⡶⢤⣾⣇⣈⣧⡤⠈⢙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣤⣶⣷⣿⣯⣉⣤⣴⢶⣴⣯⣽⣿⣿⣛⣿⣿⣧⠻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣃⢌⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿
⣿⣿⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿
⡿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⡟⣿⣿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿
⠇⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢹
⣦⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡼
⣿⣷⣌⢻⣿⠃⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⡠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄
⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠃⠀⢀⣠⠔⠀⠀⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣠⠟⠁⠀⣠⣾⣇⣠⣽⡏⠉⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠁⠀⠀⣼⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⢠⣿⠯⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⢀⣀⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⡾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⣼⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣥⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⢀⣠⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣥⣐⡲⡹⣒⣾⣴⠠⣬⣝⣛⣛⣿⣯⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣝⣘⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile. My sole erotic fantasy is to explode inside an attack helicopter with such force that their physical vessel is utterly consumed by the intensity of my fiery passion.
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I sexually Identify as
If two virgins fuck...
If two virgins fuck and take each other's virginity, shouldn't they still have one each? Because, think about it... The definition of take is to capture and receive something, like, if little Bob got 10 dollars and I rudely took it from him, he'd most likely cry, but I'd also gain 10 dollars since I took 10 dollars from him, no? Shouldn't it be the same with virginity, but hopefully, just without the crying? You take a virginty and lose one in the process, so it should be plus-minus zero, I should still have one virginty left? So if I only fuck virgins, will I be a virgin forever? And can I have multiple virginities if I take from other virgins?
When Tim Hortons... all becoming Canada
twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｔｉｍ ｈｏｒｔｏｎｓ， ｍｙ ｈａｎｄ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｍａｐｌｅ ｇｌａzｅｄ． ｉ ｄｉｐ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｕｇｈｎｕｔｅｒｉｎｏｓ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｈｏｃｋｅｙ， ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｃａｎａｄａ ｅｈ? ｓｏｒｒｙ
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Kripp