[Copypasta] My son got kicked out of school

twitchquotes: My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ben Brode purifies Anduin

twitchquotes: Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Anduins soft dirty blond hair. "If I do this, will you make me great again?" Anduin asks as he starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Anduin nods as Ben Brode slams his Temple Enforcer into Anduins 0/5 lightwell. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Anduins face.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

LCS, aka "Lair of Cosplayers and Streamers"

twitchquotes: LCS, aka "Lair of Cosplayers and Streamers", is a tournament from Riot NA that is often ridiculed for its fiesta games and questionable Jayce and Pyke players. It is specifically known for never winning internationally and its NARAM gameplay.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! ๐Ÿ˜
May 2022

Look what Casualstone has done to you Kripp

twitchquotes: @nl_Kripp I just rewatched your Diablo Intro video and shed a tear. At that time you were full of joy, passion and energy. Now look at yourself after all this years. Look what Casualstone has done to you. You are dying from boredom Kripp, you are yawning so hard as if you didn't sleep for ages, and tons of salt make your existance even more pathetic. Don't you realise it's time to make a step towards changes?
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing