[Copypasta] My son got kicked out of school

twitchquotes: My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

$600 should last us for at least 5 months

Our government is so kind and caring for us. Waits till the very last minute to finally pass something and gives us $600 which should last us for at least 5 months. God bless this country
December 2020

WallStreetBets

FLIP THAT TABLE

(โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP THAT TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ใƒฝ(ยฐโ–กยฐใƒฝ) FLIP THIS TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ๏ผผ\('0')/๏ผ ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP ALL THE TABLES เฒ _เฒ  Son... เฒ _เฒ  Put. เฒ __เฒ  The tables. เฒ ___เฒ  Back. (โ•ฎยฐ-ยฐ)โ•ฎโ”ณโ”โ”ณ (โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป NEVER!!!!
July 2015

Classic

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesusโ€™s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Godโ€™s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. ๐Ÿ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Megaman

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
November 2014
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