twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
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I used to be a real ad
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we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
Think you can beat me?
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Classic
Now my mom calls us sussy bakas
My 12 year old little sister called my older sister it yesterday. And my mom heard and asked what it meant. Little sister said it’s something cute to call someone as a cover up. Now my mom calls us sussy bakas. Someone kill me.
Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne?
twitchquotes:
Tensei, I have been playing league competitive for many years now, but at the most recent event I drank too much with Meteos. I woke up the next day in his bed with my fingers smelling a bit rank. Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne(s)?
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Reynad
League of Legends
Kripp and Tony Gambino Casino in Reno
twitchquotes:
ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ, ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ ɢᴀᴍʙɪɴᴏ ᴄᴀsɪɴᴏ ɪɴ ʀᴇɴᴏ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴛʀɪᴏ ᴏғ ɴᴇᴏ─ᴘᴏʀɴᴏʀɪɴᴏs, "ғɪʟɪᴘɪɴᴏ─ʟᴀᴛɪɴᴏs sʜᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴊᴀʟᴀᴘᴇɴᴏs ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴘᴇᴇ─ʜᴏʟᴇs ૩,"ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ϙᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ᴛᴀʀᴀɴᴛɪɴᴏ. ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴀʟʟ, ᴀᴍɪɢᴏ
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Kripp