twitchquotes:
chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Octavian Morosan
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Kripp
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
1/1 Webspinner
twitchquotes:
Hi Reynad, I just wanted to thank you for not ruining my life. I was lucky enough to go on a date with a girl last night and she ended up wanting to ride my 1/1 webspinner. She wasn't on birth control but luckily I was able to use code TEMPOSTORM to get 100% off teenage parenthood 
twitch chat
Reynad
Hearthstone
I want to fuck Spongebob
Fairy tale of Reynard and Lea
twitchquotes:
Let me tell you the fairy tale of Reynard and Lea. Once there was a magical salt-shaker named Reynard. He lived in a magical kitchen where the princess Lea would make sandwiches. One day Lea shook Reynard too hard and he broke, spilling salt everywhere. 
twitch chat
Reynad