[Copypasta] no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers

twitchquotes: chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
November 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

Raid Shadow Legends ad script

twitchquotes: RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. I never expected to get this level of performance out of a mobile game. Look how crazy the level of detail is on these champions! RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is getting big real fast, so you should definitely get in early. Starting now will give you a huge head start. There's also an upcoming Special Launch Tournament with crazy prizes! And not to mention, this game is absolutely free! So go ahead and check out the video description to find out more about RAID: Shadow Legends™️. There, you will find a link to the store page and a special code to unlock all sorts of goodies. Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs.
twitch chat
November 2020

THE LEATHER CLUB IS 2 BLOCKS DOWN

twitchquotes: gachiGASM HEY BUDDY gachiGASM I THINK gachiGASM YOU GOT gachiGASM THE WRONG gachiGASM DOOR THE LEATHER gachiGASM CLUB IS gachiGASM 2 BLOCKS DOWN gachiGASM
twitch chat
February 2017

KappaPride

Kripp 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢠⣾⣷⣔⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⣀⣼⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣧⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣯⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣼⣿⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣶⣄⠼⠶⣖⣶⣼⣿⣿⣾⣶⣔⣀⣓⣦⣿⣿⣿⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢪⣄⣤⠄⠐⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠄⠉⠛⠢⣽⣾⡿⠄⠘⡹⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠈⠹⣧⣀⣠⡤⠴⠶⠶⠶⢦⣴⣤⣤⣿⠃⠁⢠⣮⡟⢰⣿⢟⣽ ⣿⢙⢮⣻⣿⡁⠄⠄⠉⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⡀⣀⣼⣿⡿⢻⠂⠄⢠⣿⣿⢁⣿⢃⣿⣿ ⣦⡐⣼⣿⣿⣧⠄⡗⣄⡀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠚⠛⠋⠋⠄⢀⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿
November 2020
Kripp

HOW TO GET SPAGHETTI OUT OF NINTENDO SWITCH urgent !!!!!

hi guys long story short i tried asking my friends and everything and nobody is helping i got mad at smash bros so out of anger i threw a bowl of spaghetti on my dock and i think a noodle got stuck in the top because it got pushed in and so i came here because everybody else is ignoring me so i thought maybe somebody out there that did the same thing has some advice please help my last resort is having to send this to nintendo because that cost money and is scary to mail it out
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing