[Copypasta] no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers

twitchquotes: chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
November 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” β˜‘ β€œMy deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” β˜‘ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" β˜‘ β€œHe extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” β˜‘ "His cards defied logic" β˜‘ β€œThere was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” β˜‘ β€œI played impeccably”
twitch chat
October 2014

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT

twitchquotes: Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT, cream, do you know what blue light is? Anybody knows what blue light is? No, not bud light. I think that's a beer brand. Talking blue light. Anyways, RFLCT is a new skin care product that protects against blue light and unwanted blue light that may be coming from your monitor. So that's my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little bottles. Stuff like that.
twitch chat
October 2021

Headphones

───────────────── β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Ÿβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░▐░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░▐░░ ░▐░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░▓▓░░▐░░ β–‘β–β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘Β Β Β Β Β β–ˆΒ Β β–‘β–‘Β Β Β Β β–ˆΒ Β β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–—β–Ÿβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
August 2018

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Response to somebody correcting a grammar mistake

Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.
May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing