[Copypasta] My son can be homer sexual

twitchquotes: My son πŸ‘¦πŸ» can be homer sexual πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ My daughter πŸ‘§πŸ» can be lebanese πŸ‘­ But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child πŸ‘ΆπŸ» who likes Jake and Logan Paul πŸ™…πŸ»β€
twitch chat
January 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Who is Octavian Morosan

twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

You have to concede... He has a wisp

twitchquotes: You have to concede... He has a wisp
twitch chat
March 2014
Hafu

Donkey Kong

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ”€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€ β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–Œβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–β–β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–β–β”€β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β–„β–„β”€β”€β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–β–β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β”€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the β€œInternet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spΔ“king wit minen aspΔ«eris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spΔ«en aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spΔ«tΗ’us frivōl thou namest β€œthine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cΗ’uthest hauen knouen what unblessed pΕ«nΔ«ciΗ’un thine littel β€œgleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tΗ’ng stille. But thou cΗ’uthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

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