twitchquotes:
My son ๐ฆ๐ป can be homer sexual ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ My daughter ๐ง๐ป can be lebanese ๐ญ But I will NEVER โผ๏ธ Raise a child ๐ถ๐ป who likes Jake and Logan Paul ๐
๐ปโ
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
cant understand how you have a popular stream
twitchquotes:
cant understand how you have a popular stream. you keep saying โi dont even know what im doingโ and it shows. youโre strats... wait do you have any? doesnโt seem like it. you just seem consistantly terrible. dunno why people watch you. youโre not entertaining or educating or anything... just another garbage ARAM player... lost a potential watcher for... literally anyone else
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Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
if doublelift has million number of fans i am one of them
twitchquotes:
if doublelift has million number of fans i am one of them. if doublelift has ten fans i am one of them. if doublelift has no fans. that means i am no more on the earth. if world against doublelift, i am against the world. i love doublelift till my last breath... die hard fan of doublelift. Hit like if u think doublelift best & smart in the world
twitch chat
Classic
League of Legends
We donโt have any words
twitchquotes:
We donโt have any words and we know you donโt want to hear them. We understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything youโre feeling โ we get it. This isnโt the ending we imagined, and certainly not the one we wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.
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I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you
twitchquotes:
I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you, and so is my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is very ugly. And so are you. These are facts. Debate me.
twitch chat