[Copypasta] It's funny seeing the minds in chat

twitchquotes: It's funny seeing the "minds" in chat entertained by a virtual children’s card game. 🀣 Whenever you idiots β€œPog Champ,” I am reading the works of Plato, etc. Guess who will get a better job in 5 years?
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

200 word essay due

twitchquotes: 200 word essay due tomorrow and I'm here watching qtpie EleGiggle
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

Classic

HOTLINE MING

twitchquotes: MingLee I MingLee KNOW MingLee WHEN MingLee THAT MingLee HOTLINE MingLee MING MingLee THAT MingLee CAN MingLee ONLY MingLee MING MingLee ONE MingLee LEE MingLee YOU MingLee USED MingLee TO MingLee MingLee CALL MingLee ME MingLee ON MingLee MY MingLee CELLPHONE MingLee
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

Troll face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘
November 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing