[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Supreme

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ascii art
April 2020

Vape master vape hat

twitchquotes: deIlluminati only the VAPE master can wear the vape hat VapeNation
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

VapeNation

Inverted Toucan

dlǝɐsǝ pouʇ qɐu˙ ʇux░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░███████▀█░░░░░░░pǝʌᴉɹɹɐ░░░░░░░░ ████████▄▄▄░░░░sɐɥ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░█████████████▐░░░▐░░uɐɔnoʇ░░░░░░░ ░░████████████▐░░░░▐░░░░ǝl░░░░░░░░ ░░░░██████████▐░░░░▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░███████▄░░░░▌░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄▌░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▐░░░░░▌▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▀▄▀█▐░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▌█░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄░░█▄░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀░▀▀▌░███▄▄░░░░▀▄░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌██▀░▐░░░░░░░▀▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄███▄▄▀▀▀▄▄▄░░░░░░░░
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June 2019
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