[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.

September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle

twitchquotes: Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, it’s a lifestyle 💫 a reason to breathe 🤲 an escape from this evil world filled with thieves 🌏 It’s art 🖼 the first gift you open on Xmas 🎁 a hug from a loved one 🤗 everything you’ve ever wanted love 💗 everything you need 💕🥺

twitch chat

August 2020

Pokimane

Simps

Doublelift: I don't make many mechanical mistakes

twitchquotes: I'm really confident that we'll be the way better bot lane. (Laughs) I see games where G2's bot lane is 100 CS down, losing tower, and getting killed 2 vs 2. I can't remember any games like that for us. CoreJJ and I don't make many mechanical mistakes and I think we play a lot cleaner in general. -- Doublelift 2019

twitch chat

May 2019

Riot Games

League of Legends

PogChamp

░░░░░▒░░▄██▄░▒░░░░░░ ░░░▄██████████▄▒▒░░░ ░▒▄████████████▓▓▒░░ ▓███▓▓█████▀▀████▒░░ ▄███████▀▀▒░░░░▀█▒░░ ████████▄░░░░░░░▀▄░░ ▀██████▀░░▄▀▀▄░░▄█▒░ ░█████▀░░░░▄▄░░▒▄▀░░ ░█▒▒██░░░░▀▄█░░▒▄█░░ ░█░▓▒█▄░░░░░░░░░▒▓░░ ░▀▄░░▀▀░▒░░░░░▄▄░▒░░ ░░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░▒░░░ ░░░▓▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▄██▀░░░░ ░░░░▓▒▒▒░▒▒░▓▀▀▒░░░░ ░░░░░▓▓▒▒░▒░░▓▓░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░

ascii art

November 2014

$19 Fortnite card

Ok.. $19.00 Fortnite card. Who wAnts it? And yes, I'm giving it away. Remember: SHARE. SHARE SHARE. ..and Trolls... DON'T GET BLOCKED!

March 2021

[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle

Simps

Doublelift: I don't make many mechanical mistakes

League of Legends

PogChamp

$19 Fortnite card

Fortnite

Confirm Subscription