[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

We didn't start the fire (emoji pasta)

πŸ‘«WE 😑DIDN’TπŸ€ͺSTART❌THE😾 FIRE πŸ”₯ IT 🀨WAS 🀬ALWAYS🀩BURNINGπŸ₯΅ SINCE 😧THE✨WORLDS🌍 BEEN😻TURNING
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Asmongold’s Defence for Brony Accusation

"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"
April 2022
Asmongold

Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat: ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€~ Kappa ~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing