twitchquotes:
Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum
twitchquotes:
Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum i bet you can't even afford a real fedora like mine or treat a fine gal to a meal you smelly hobo *walks away turns around tips fedora and continues walking*
twitch chat
Kripp
Hey man, it's Mark from History 101
twitch chat
Kripp
Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youâre going to be in a great mood all day, because youâre going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereâs a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donât have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatâs why you donât have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
Youâre going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youâre going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youâre going to have an exciting life now.
Look hereâs a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youâre going to love this. You donât have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
Youâre going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnât that beautiful on your ice cream.
WIFE TEST
twitchquotes:
WIFE TEST đŠ IF YOU TOUCH THE WIFE , GO TO CHEAT đ â forsenCD / đ â
twitch chat
xQcOW
my face when americans call chips "french fries"
>my face when americans call chips "french fries"
>my face when americans call crisps "chips"
>my face when americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars"
>my face when americans call motorized rollinghams "cars"
>my face when americans call merry ďŹzzlebombs "ďŹreworks"
>my face when americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC"
>my face when americans call meat water "gravy"
>my face when americans call electro-rope "power cables"
>my face when americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger"
>my face when americans call whimsy ďŹimsy mark and scribblers "pens"
>my face when americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs"
>my face when americans call breaddystack a "sandwich"
>my face when americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards"
>my face when americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly"
>my face when americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator"
>my face when americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater"
>my face when americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift"
>my face when americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie"
>my face when americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver"
>my face when americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun"
>my face when americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb"
>my face when americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball"
>my face when americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake"
>my face when americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"