[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
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I'm going up the chat elevator

twitchquotes: PogChamp I'M GOING UP THE CHAT ELEVATOR PogChamp I'M GONNA BE FIRST TO ARRIVE PogChamp
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

Hello chat I am famous fascist leader, Adolf Hilterino

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด„สœแด€แด› ษช แด€แด า“แด€แดแดแดœs า“แด€sแด„ษชsแด› สŸแด‡แด€แด…แด‡ส€, แด€แด…แดสŸา“ สœษชแด›สŸแด‡ส€ษชษดแด. แดกแด‡ แดกแดแดœสŸแด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ สแดแดœ แด€ษดแด… ษดแด€แดขษช แดแดแด…s แด›แด แด˜แด€ส€แด›ษชแด„ษชแด˜แด€แด›แด‡ ษชษด แดแดœส€ ษดแด‡แดก แด˜ส€แดแด˜แด€ษขแด€ษดแด…แด€ า“ษชสŸแด "sษชแด‡ษข สœแด‡ษชสŸ สŸษชา“แด‡sแด›สสŸแด‡" สแดแดœ แดกแดแดœสŸแด… ส€แด€ษชsแด‡ สแดแดœส€ แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€s แด€ษดแด… ษดแด€แดขษช แดแดแด…s sแด€ส ษดแด แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แด€ษดแด… ส™แด€ษดสœแด€แดแดแด‡ส€.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'โˆšฯ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Sadge brother letter

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ Sadge ๐“œ๐”‚ ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป, ๐“˜ ๐”€๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ฎ๐“น ๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ช๐“ท๐“ฌ๐“ฑ๐“ธ๐“ต๐”‚. ๐“˜๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“น๐“น๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ฝ๐“ธ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฝ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ผ๐“ท'๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท๐”‚ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ฌ๐“ด ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ฏ๐“ฝ
twitch chat
August 2020
Forsen

Pikachu

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€
November 2014

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing