[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripp's stream is like watching paint dry

twitchquotes: How the ever loving *** is this guy getting 24k people to watch him play HS? It's like having a small country collectively decide to grow an interest in watching paint dry. Boggles the mind. Really.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

For the blind, it is light

twitchquotes: Who is [streamer name]? ๐Ÿค” For the blind, ๐Ÿฆ‡ it is light. ๐Ÿ’ก For the hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฃ , it is bread. ๐Ÿž For the sick, ๐Ÿ’‰ it is the cure. โš•๏ธ For the sad ๐Ÿ˜ข , it is joy. ๐Ÿ˜‚ For the poor ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’ฐ , it is the treasure; ๐Ÿ’ฐ โ›๏ธ for the debtor โž– ๐Ÿ’ฐ , it is forgiveness. ๐Ÿ™ For the face ๐Ÿ˜ถ , it is the lips ๐Ÿ‘„
twitch chat
October 2021

Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner

twitchquotes: Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me :)
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage far too small for himself. Malnourished because of his "vegan" diet, his ribs are clearly visible through his coat. He barely has the energy to move, let alone enjoy life. Yet, he knows there's hope. He knows he could draw attention to himself, as he hears Kripp constantly talking to someone. In a single act of defiance, Dex barks to draw attention to his dire situation. "Quiet, Dex" is his only reply as Kripp ignores his pleas yet again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Greekeroni Philosopheroni

twitchquotes: hey qtpie i'm a greekeroni philosopheroni and i want to share my toughts. so far for me KAPPA is god KAPPA is in everything so we are KAPPA we are god this is my philosopheroni pls no kapparoni papajohnny
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing