[Copypasta] Never lucky veganism

twitchquotes: In a new study scientists aimed to find the origin of luck by studying an internet celebrity known as Kripparian, famous for playing a children's card game for thousands to watch, after inumerous claims of being "never lucky" while playing said game. The scientists eventually isolated a single variable known only to this particular individual: veganism. While it might yet be soon to draw any conclusions, scientists seem to agree that a meat-rich diet is indeed the cure for "never lucky".
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Millerino Druidino

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripparian, its Reynad's attourney here, i see you are using my client's new deck, the Millerino Druidino. We will send you the fees for using his new deck idea, please stay in touch with us or we will have to take the needed providences. Have a good climb, no pasterino please. Nice cat u have.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me β€œUNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

krippO

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–‘β–“β–“ β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“ β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘ β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–“β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
August 2016
Kripp

Another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Kripp, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class card game decision making skills. There's clearly something not right and I'm betting that someone at Blizzard may be a little jealous of you.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing