[Copypasta] Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I had dreams and ambitions of becoming a pro 1v1 player

twitchquotes: Hello OddOne, my name is Gustavian. I had dreams and ambitions, of becoming a professional 1v1 player. I picked this game up yesterday, with hopes and dreams. But you picked a fucking stupid op noob champ, and i lost my 2 bucks because of you. Now i have to stay at my aunts house in Nigeria, because i cant take the train home to Uganda.
twitch chat
September 2014
TheOddOne

OGN's mods

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ OGN, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Hɪᴛʟᴇʀ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴅᴏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ ᴏғ ᴄᴀʀʀʏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴇʟɪᴇғs.
twitch chat
March 2014
OGN Hearthstone

XL Super Sized Monster

twitchquotes: "Oh my God," gasped Raina. That thing is HUGE, its going to make me so wet!. Kripp smirked, "Yup." He began pumping furiously as the pressure built up and his Vegan strength began to dwindle. "Are you ready?" Kripp said cheekily. "I don't know about this, I think we should..." but it was too late. Kripp blasted her point blank, gentlely bruising her skin with a pressure rating well above 2. "Next time you can do me," said Kripp as he put away his XL Super Sized Monster.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

We wish you a Merry Krippmas

twitchquotes: ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing