[Copypasta] Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Amazed Face

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August 2018

China Salt Manufacturer and Casualarrian

twitchquotes: Hello Casualarrian, this is a your partner, china salt manufacturer talking to you. Yesterday i found a such a nice game named οΌ€οΌ‘οΌ²οΌ« οΌ³οΌ―οΌ΅οΌ¬οΌ³ and i found it interesting. This is very casual game, as you like and i recommend you to try it out. This will make your stream views grow and our partnership will become οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ¬οΌ¬ οΌ­οΌ₯οΌ΄
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Bear King Burry vs TSLA

Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly. "The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee. TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair. Bear King Burry turns to the crowd "Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?" A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries. On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time. "Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..." Bear King Burry turns to WSB "Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch." "Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want." A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring. "And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously. BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends. "Who am I?" the robed figure inquires. The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall. The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence. "Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly. The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature. The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes. "I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Megaman

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
November 2014

Your elo doesn't mean you play at that skill level

twitchquotes: Your elo doesn’t necessarily mean you play at that skill level. I’ve been silver a couple seasons but i play at a platinum level. I’ve played a lot of games with plat/diamond players and managed to carry (mostly aram)
twitch chat
February 2019

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing