[Copypasta] Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022

My donger is half my age

twitchquotes: ◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕ ɪ ᴍ**ᴛᴜʀʙᴀᴛᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴɪᴠᴇᴀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ʜᴀʟғ ᴍʏ ᴀɢᴇ ͡◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

It's called empathy

Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

I hate that guy's emotes so much

twitchquotes: I hate that guy's emotes so much. They all look like some 6 year old made them in MS Paint, and I'm not talking about the purposefully bad ones. And all they do is portray emotions already done by the default emotes; The best custom emotes are ones that do things you can't easily do with the defaults. And the insufferable people who use those emotes find any reason to use any of them, even if they're not related, because they're that proud of a 4.99 purchase. I'd rather sub to a guy I liked watc
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

FeelsDankMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿⡿⠛⡍⠉⠙⣿⡆⣒⣈⣥⣤⣶⢖⠒⢲⣶⣽ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠂⠀⠁⣨⠜⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠰⠀⢋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠩⠝⠊⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣁⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣛⣓⠲⠖⠒⠋⢉⣉⠩⠥⢐⣶⣽⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣔⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⣔⣴⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣽⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

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