[Copypasta] Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
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June 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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The emergency surgery of Sandeep was a critical failure

twitchquotes: ＢＲＥＡＫＩＮＧ ＮＥＷＳ：Tʜᴇ ᴇᴍᴇʀɢᴇɴᴄʏ sᴜʀɢᴇʀʏ ᴏғ Sᴀɴᴅᴇᴇᴘ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄᴀʟ ғᴀɪʟᴜʀᴇ! Exᴘᴇʀᴛs ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟs ᴛᴏ ᴇᴠᴀᴄᴜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʀᴇᴀ ᴀs ᴀ sᴛᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴀɴᴀʟ-sᴇᴡᴀɢᴇ ɪs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴇʀᴜᴘᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴛᴜᴍ ᴏғ Sᴀɴᴅᴇᴇᴘ!
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November 2014
Kripp

why do they call it xbox 360?

twitchquotes: why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away 😂 👌 💯 🔥
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June 2017

DONGER TO ME

twitchquotes: ⊹⋛⋋( ຈل͜ຈ )⋌⋚⊹ DONGER TO ME, SQWAAK ⊹⋛⋋( ຈل͜ຈ )⋌⋚⊹
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October 2014
imaqtpie

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
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Debunking the existence of females

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November 2021

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