[Copypasta] Things escalated from there

twitchquotes: I lost my virginity while listening to this song 5 years ago, it's a funny story really.. i had just finished my gym workout and i was in the locker room all sweaty, and in walks this leather dressed jabroni.. he seemed confused as to where he was.. i told him he might have gotten the wrong door, then he got very rude and said "fuck you", then i said "nah fuck you leatherman" and then things escalated from there
twitch chat
July 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Thanks for backseating

On behalf of the Streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable care about this hardstuck challenger players mental state, since after 10 years of streaming he is not able to control his anger and tilt. Your contribution to helping him get over his weak mentality and becoming an untiltable champion of the top lane will never be forgotten!
July 2022

League of Legends

I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime

twitchquotes: I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime. Like, they didn't choose to be born with an IQ of 20 in a home with unloving parents. Imagine all the bullying they must experience at home, at school, and at the special services daycare. Let's stop bullying them, guys. They may be too retarded to understand that's what we're doing, but that doesn't mean we should pick on them. Thank you
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

This is Wildcard Region Police, NA you are coming with us

twitchquotes: (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃▭ This is Wildcard Region Police, NA you are coming with us (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃▭
twitch chat
October 2015

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing